my grandad is v ill, and i have no emotions about it.

[misdee]

seriously, i am not bothered at all, am not worried, not upset etc. we dont have the best relationship with grandad, they have never been part of mine or my kids life, and they live in the same town. they arent exceptionally old or incapcitated, they literally just couldnt be bothered with us as kids or adults. my kids dont know him as great-grandad, they know more of their other greatgrandads, who kepp in touch with letters and visits. am i an insensitive soul?

I would be as bothered as I would about any old person I knew who was seriously ill. I'd probably visit.

Insensitive, no.
Families have to made through love, familiarity and attention, as well as bred as relatives!

Nope. If you don't get on, you don't get on. There is no law to say you must get on with your family.

Not at all. Just grieving and feelings are reserved mostly for those you have relationships with.

Aside from that, you emotions are quite rightly placed elsewhere at the moment.

no, not insensitive at all.

my other sister is going to visit, to 'allivete her guilt'. i do row with grandad, we are both headstrong characters, and he disagrees with my mini campaign for organ donors(religious reasons).

nope, i had the same feelings about my mum's dad and we had the same sort of relationship. when he died, I was sad for my mum but felt nothing - noone bar my Grandma cried at his funeral but my baby dd (at the time) filled her nappy during the service which made me smile and proabably had him turning in his grave

pmsl cadbury

i cant even remember if he has seen serena. or even if he has been to this house (we have lived here 18months)

I don't feel anything either Misdee, They has seen dd2 once in her life, she is 4 now. One day he sat outside my house waiting for someone 2 doors up for 1/2 hour and didn't even knock on my door That upset me because I felt that I wasn't worth the time.

ok, i feelings of guilt. sould i just go and pop my head round, and say 'right your still alive, see ya later'? or just not go. the sight of the man makes me angry, really it does.

my kids don't even know who he is, I tried to have a relationship with them when Ds was younger but it didn't work

same here mieow, i used to pop by to see them with dd1 a fair bit. i lived about 5mins walk away. they came round to me twice.

and the bloke has no life insurence and says us grandkids and our aunts/uncles will help pay for things. my arse, will we!!

seriously???!!! He has said that!!!???

yup.

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family, just because they're family doesn't mean you have to have feelings for them and grieve for them, especially not when they've acted in the way your granddad appears to have done. Do unto others as you would have others done to you, and that's just what he's done. he'sn't treated you like a grandchild, so why should you be there for him now. sounds harsh, but what goes around comes around ...