Don't Think I'm In Love :/

[KrissieJules]

My DH and I have been less than intimate since our DD was born 16weeks ago :(

I think it has something to do with my hormones as I'm breastfeeding - and nature says not to go creating more when you're already nursing one!

It's like, my daughter came along and suddenly the love I have for her just doesn't compare! Any free time I'd rather spend sorting my house! How sad :(

I don't want to be a single mum, and I'm not bothered about being with anyone else so I don't want to split from him at all - but just don't think I'm in love still :/

Anyone else feeling different now their bundle of joy has arrived???

Are you sure it's not just a case of your love for your child is more powerful than anything you have ever known?

You might not necessarily love your dh less at all, it just isn't as powerful or as consuming as the love for your baby at this very special time.

I love my children and my dh in different ways. There will always be something extra special for the way I feel about my dc's though x

Oh definitely! It took me nearly 6 months before I'd even think about being intimate and even now (DS is 7 mo) we've only done it a handful of times. I'd give it a while yet before you make any rash decisions, unless of course you're having other problems, but even then I'd say take a step back and wait til you stop bf or start weaning. Once weaning started demand for banger reduced and I started to feel normal-ish again. IMO/E bfing does make your thoughts/decisions/feelings a bit fuzzy and 16 weeks is so little still! What does your DP say?

He pesters for sex!

My mum gave the advice - "put on a brave face as men have needs" but I'm not sure I agree with that :/ after all, shouldnt BOTH parties enjoy the act?

Pornyissue, thats a nice way of thinking about it - maybe it IS that.

I do tell him "I've just had a baby" but he seems to think that 16 weeks isn't JUST having a baby.

16 weeks is still very early days, especially if you're bfing. Bfing really changes your hormone levels, and I found that it affected the way I felt about being touched. I had to tell DH not to touch me at all (as in, stroke my arm or kiss me) while I was breastfeeding as it almost physically hurt it was so uncomfortable. We had sex maybe 3 or 4 times by the time DS was 16 weeks - I was just so tired and touched out that I wasn't up for it.

I DO NOT agree with your mother that you should just go along with it. You are not just a hole for your DH to use - you should not have sex unless you genuinely want to. He should not be pressuring you. Tell him that you'll decide when you want to have sex and until then he needs to shut up about it.

Don't make any decisions about leaving for the time being. It's very hard to think straight when you have such a young baby and making such a big decision now is a bad idea. Give it at least another few months, try to build up intimacy with your DH again. By intimacy I mean hugging, kissing, chatting, not sex. See how you feel when the fog of having a newborn has cleared.

OMG-please don´t go along with what your mum has said-that´s just awful!

My PFB was in hospital for some weeks so we weren´t getting broken sleep initially, but even so we were both exhausted.

Visiting the hospital everyday-after work for husband was just draining.

I was terrified that sex would hurt-or that husband would fall in.

It took time & we gradually built up to it again.