Can you just give me perspective please, it could be nothing?

[feelingpositivemum]

I have been divorced for a couple of years and we have 4 DC's. My ExH picked up the DC's this evening and because I was chatting to my DD2 as she climbed into the car and he had to get to a friends house to pick up DS2 for cubs he jumped the car forward twice in order to get her in quickly. He was obviously really cross that we were delaying him, he glared at me and drove off. This post is deliberately brief as I just want your thoughts on this, my instincts are telling me to be upset but I'm not sure I'm just overreacting!

Feel free to say there are far worst things in life....

If she was climbing into the car at the time and he moved forwards, I'd be really upset about that. Sounds dangerous. Rather than saying to you he's annoyed with you, he's dealing with it by doing something to upset you and 'make his point'. But that happens to be dangerous.

I would tell him that's a really inappropriate way of expressing his annoyance with you and suggest he just tells you if he reaches that point so you can deal with it safely and without the drama of someone being run over

I Agee that his behaviour was inappropriate (juvenile even) and possibly dangerous. I'm sure you weren't chattering on just to delay him so he could have just asked you both to hurry up. I'd be cross but not do / say anything unless he always behaves like this

Mmm, now I annoy myself that although I know it was dangerous or at least inadvisable I doubt myself until someone says they think its not right.

Unfortunately, I can't tell him that he shouldn't do it as he doesn't take any form of criticism. There lies a long story that I don't know where to start, I just wanted my instincts validated. I can't tell him not to do it, I'm not sure how to deal with it or whether to just leave it.

It is good sometimes to check out your own view against others. I do that a lot, so don't feel odd about needing to do that.

Why can't you tell him that you were upset that he chose to express his annoyance with you in such a way? Can you ask him to tell you if something you are doing is annoying him?

Well if you let him pick the dcs up from the front door so he is the one putting them in the car then he is the one holding things up and he won't do that again.
It is horrible to think he would endanger the dcs lives just to 'get' at you :(

Sometimes it's definitely worth getting a 2nd opinion. Occasionally my ex even breathing seems to annoy me!

He sounds like a teenager having a strop, which is no fun for the adult in the relationship. Personally I would be furious and worry that the responses he can't control spill over when he has my children to look after. Ie putting his foot down to express his anger. I would definitely say something or better email him. If you ignore it because he doesn't respond well, you are just pandering to him. Whether he reacts badly or not, he should still be told.

I think I will email him as he responds better to those. I know it will get nowhere though, he just denies it. I have to say something though, I can't believe he needs to be so aggressive. He's desperate the DC love him but doesn't feel he does anything wrong ever.

Mamas12, unfortunately, they are old enough to get themselves into the car, which has the engine running and is not parked properly! He doesn't do waiting patiently.

Petesmum it has been useful getting a 2nd opinion esp when it isn't that serious, just incredibly irritating.
I worry that it hits nerves for me and I'm overreacting.

His behaviour was immature and downright dangerous.

I would certainly email him to say that in order to avoid a repeat of his dangerous behaviour, next time he must come to the door to collect them.

He's your Ex and while I understand why you would rather not start an argument, you really don't have to play by his rules anymore. If you email him and he gets angry, so what? Put the phone down !!!
You get to call your own shots now, so put your foot down and make sure he sticks to what you are telling him

I have sent an email which he hasn't replied to but nowadays he doesn't get angry anymore if I challenge him, he just denies it! Very difficult to have any conversation with someone who just says it didn't happen all the time. I really have learnt not to bother except for occasions like last night when its dangerous for the DC's.