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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I had to end it, and it BLOODY HURTS. Please give me cheering up tips.

3 replies

LeNameChange · 21/02/2012 12:12

I appreciate and know that my situation is not in the category of lots of women on this thread who have been left after years of marriage and I humbly apologise to them.

Quick background. I was married for 14 years, husband left me 3 years ago, all very amicable now. Just dipped my toe in the water with dating again very recently. Met a man I really, really, really fancy. He is separated. We flirted for months and months and became really good friends. Eventually had 2 dates, lots of fabulous kissing - nothing else, thank the Lord.

Anyway, since the last date I have detected a distinct cooling off from his end, the endless texts disappeared and it felt like I was beginning to be a bit of a chore. So last night I called him and said that he clearly didn't seem ready for anything - and of course he agreed (I gave him an easy out). He says he is 'very sad' and that 'if he was ready, he would definitely wish to be with me and no one else' but I think that is code for "I've decided that you're not worth taking any further".

I feel like such a TREMENDOUS FOOL. i spent last night lying awake, and having little teary periods and I realise today that I'd invested in him emotionally and I'll MISS HIM. It was nice having someone to text and look forward to seeing again. and the world feels very grey again today.

Bollocks to it! I've asked him not to contact me again, as I need to get over it. Have I done the right thing? Can someone give me some cheering up tips. I feel like crawling into a hole and weeping! In fact, i am weeping. Jesus, I think a life of celibacy beckons.

OP posts:
LeNameChange · 21/02/2012 12:15

I should add that his life is ridiculously complex, with 3 children and 2 ex wives etc. Just in case you think I'm totally unfanciable... Grin

OP posts:
FateLovesTheFearless · 21/02/2012 12:22

calm down! Slight overdramatics there! Grin

You had two dates with the guy and it didnt work out. Put it down to experience and get yourself back out there. Are you certain you are ready to start dating again? Its not easy and rejection sucks but you need to be strong enough to brush it off and move on.

Cheering up tips? Bottle of wine, music and a hairbrush! Or some online shopping, a wax, hair cut, whatever makes you feel good.

LeNameChange · 21/02/2012 12:24

I know it sounds over dramatic. Sad

I'm sad because we had become friends over months and I really miss him now. But you know what, I think I may not have been ready to date again,...

OP posts:
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