Sex frequency

[kittenwarrior]

I know there is no 'normal' when it comes to how often you have sex but I'm curious about what the average appears to be.

In 2012 we have so far done it once!! It's nearly blinkin' March!!!

My and my OT are having relationship probs but even when things were good it was an issue for me (and probably for him too).
The other issue is that I always initiate it and my OT only really likes 'making love'. No oral sex on the motorway (sorry but I did that with my ex and he thought I was amazing!!). Always very safe and nice. Sometimes mindblowing but getting more rare.

Any thoughts?!

want to get it up to 1 a week.
managed to up it from once every couple of months to once a month
and need to increase it again. trying to do it gently so I don't scare dh!!

S'OK, hisgentletouch, his usual office is just off Soho - he's managed to work there for over a decade without once mistaking women for commodities

Plenty, it's great that your H is completely trustworthy - can't be said for many other husbands on long business trips, I've heard too many stories from men as well as wives. As I said, it's not just sex for sale, people over there are very easy with sleeping around, married or single (no, not EVERYone, but believe me I know, have friends over there who tell me these things), esp in corporate environment.

hisgentletouch, I feel really sorry for you if you honestly don't believe your partner wouldn't be able to stop himself shagging around just because it was offered to him.

We're very happy together. It would never occur to me to cheat just because he's away for three months (and I'd have ample opportunity if I wanted to), so why on earth would he be tempted?

I'm not saying that any man or partner would, but many do - aren't there enough stories on MN even? and when they cheat for the first time it's often in the office or on long business trips cause when away they feel removed from their usual life and people. It's hardly a rare occurence, yellow. Especially if not much sexlife in their relationship. Yes, if the man is of high morality and really in love with his partner, he wouldn't.

Plenty, if you very happy, then no need to worry of course, it;s just you said that sex is very infrequent (but may well be not bothering him at all, you know him best). I was talking of an average man with average/high sexdrive and in a not very sexual relationship.

Seriously, hisgentletouch, it's not about the man being of high morals or in love. It's about being, you know, normal. Yes, lots of men cheat. Lots don't. It seems an odd thing to warn a woman about.

My partner is hardly a bastion of morality but I know he wouldn't cheat.

Yes, sex is infrequent but very very good when it happens. It won't be sex per se that he's missing, but sex with me, although actually he'll probably be missing cuddles and giggles with me more. We both shagged around a fair bit when young and single and we're both convinced the other is the best shag we've ever had. The reason we don't have much sex is just circumstances. It bothers both of us a bit but it's not a huge problem as we are both fantastic wankers

Maybe I have more faith in the average man than you do - in spite of the sad tales I read on here, I'd expect the average decent man to talk about things, try to resolve them and if that was not possible, to get out of the relationship before seeking sex elsewhere.

yellow, maybe I have a jaundiced view as I always lived in London and other big cities before that, and you see all sorts happening. So what do you think distinguishes normal men who don't cheat from men who cheat, if not morals or being in love? I am really interested.

Plenty, you sound like soulmates and in love, plus got the novelty shagging out of the system, so that's great. He sounds like his not shallow either. So yes, he can even withstand the moscow test.

yellow I am with you, we have shagathons at the weekend, 2 sometimes 3 times a day. Holidays also = every day at least
It's a drought during the week.
No DC (but weekend only sex is NOT helping cos I ovulate mid week usually, grrrrr)
Cannot get DH interested in the week as he is tired/stressed from work or out with work doing deals getting hammered

Oh pleast hisgentletouch, I live in London and none of my friends cheat on their partners.

What do I think distinguishes them? Er, the fact they don't cheat?

Thing is, I've never to my knowledge been cheated on by anybody. I just don't think it's something that most men people do, even in That London (where I live, by the way). I'm sorry if your experience has been different

why has this become a thread about infidelity rather than about how often ?

Plenty, I don't think I've been cheated on either, at least in longer relationships, but my longest lasted about 5 yrs, so I have no personal experience of very long relationships, but I have been asked out by married men quite a bit when i was younger and single. I'm basing this mainly on what I hear and see from other people, especially in long marriages.

I still can't get passed the "No oral sex on the motorway"

Who was driving??

Never have oral sex on a motorway.

You could be hit by a car.

3-4 times a week. I would do it less, DH probably more. Together 25 years, married 20, 3 DCs. Not bad for a couple of oldies

Well when the children were small and we both worked different shifts, our drive and energy for sex diminished significantly, but now after 33 years together, the children are all grown we're back to anything between 3-6 times a week.

Having time to spend loving each other, when we know each other so well, is for me, one of the real pleasures of growing old together.

5-7 times a week, one DS - 8 months, together 3 years, both have massive sex drives!