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Original poster

Domination advice

21 replies

OverpoweringProblem · 20/02/2012 21:35

Namechanger as embarrased but looking for advice. Seeing someone for a while now, last week we did something that I've wanted to try for ages and I really enjoyed it :-D. I know that he likes to be dominated at times and would like to do something to surprise him but not sure what, any tips for a complete beginner? We've discussed what we both enjoy and I'd like to try something? I'm not shy but its whole new ground for me, tips gratefully received!

OP posts:
Original poster
OverpoweringProblem · 20/02/2012 21:41

I know its not Friday! Just can't wait until then :-0

OP posts:
NannyPlumIsMyMum · 20/02/2012 21:42

What about searching dominatrix sites for tips

AKissIsNotAContract · 20/02/2012 21:43

this book is good.

Original poster
OverpoweringProblem · 20/02/2012 22:00

Thanks both, done the internet searching but all seems a bit harcore and scary, was looking for something a bit more basic. Book looks good AKiss will order, just dont want to do something to out of the norm straight away wanted to test the waters gently and was hoping for some advice

OP posts:
AKissIsNotAContract · 20/02/2012 22:04

If you just want to start with something basic then blindfolds are a good starting point, especially if you are shy.

Original poster
OverpoweringProblem · 20/02/2012 22:18

Thanks Akiss, will give it a go, I'm not shy but the stuff on the websites was a bit too much for me for the first attempt!

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 20/02/2012 22:32

Try this. I can recommend the author as someone who has been there and done nearly all of it. No it's not written by me it's my mate.

ballroomblitz · 20/02/2012 23:13

First attempt: Blindfold as Akiss said, If light bondage is too much give the illusion of bondage like telling him to put his hands above his head/beside him and not move them. It's all to do with control. You control the situation and what he does. You can do that in a gentle water-testing way without getting hardcore about it.

ISayHolmes · 20/02/2012 23:20

Have a safeword, or safewords so that you can be clear if you are uncomfortable or want to stop. Like green, yellow, red? Green=carry on. Yellow=back off a bit. Red=stop everything right away. Domination can be amazing but it's always good to have something like this in place so you and your partner know that you have a clear way of expressing yourself quickly and there isn't any confusion. If something is uncomfortable or painful or even emotionally too much it is good to be able to stop it ASAP :)

ISayHolmes · 20/02/2012 23:31

Oh sorry, completely misread your post and thought you were the one who liked being dominated. Apologies! Well, safewords are still a good idea Blush

tropamo · 21/02/2012 00:14

OP Did you or he suggest the thing that you have wanted to try for ages?

Original poster
OverpoweringProblem · 21/02/2012 20:56

Thanks all, I'll have a look at the book SGB. I'm sure it'll be easy once I get over the initial fear of it seeming too forced and premeditated. Its all my fear of the unknown, 20 years with the same man and its all new! Tropamo, neither of us suggested it, it was something that we'd talked about and it just happened, it felt very natural and was very enjoyable, maybe I've answered my own question & i shouldn't put too much thought into things

OP posts:
tropamo · 22/02/2012 00:38

Not exactly sure of what is going on with you and your feller! He would have to pay a great deal of money to visit a professional dominatrix (£200 plus). Do you think that he is trying to "groom" you, in which case say no to photographs!

Hope that I'm wrong!

21YrOldMan · 22/02/2012 08:04

Tropamo, do you cry foul every time someone meets up with someone else for "normal" sex? Prostitutes aren't cheap either, you know....

solidgoldbrass · 22/02/2012 09:39

FFS Tropamo, lots of women enjoy BDSM sex of their own volition, just as lots of women enjoy sex without charging professional fees for engaging in it.

tropamo · 22/02/2012 23:58

OP Wasn't being nasty or critical but thought that you should know that some devotees of BDSM love grooming a "vanilla."

LittleDragon · 23/02/2012 00:23

try thissite it has some good groups, and also this one

solidgoldbrass · 23/02/2012 01:15

Yes and some of the people you meet via internet dating are after your money/already married/Slitheen in skin suits. The OP mentioned nothing about feeling uneasy or pressured by her new playmate, she was asking about techniques.

ballroomblitz · 23/02/2012 09:28

Ofgs topamo. The op did this off her own bat and it is between two consenting adults that they both wanted to try. She wasn't forced into anything against her will.

Agree with LittleDragon, Fet has a lot of interesting groups, some aimed at novices.

freckly12 · 23/02/2012 10:04

Hmmm... maybe some light bondage as said above. A blindfold ( use a shirt rolled up to improvise) and maybe some ribbon etc to tie up his hands. its all about the idea of giving up control, so maybe do this and give him a bj etc? I dont know... am guessing... this is about as far as i go with my dh but sometimes it does work!
Good luck and ENJOYx

tropamo · 10/03/2012 00:37

OP - Did it all work out?

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