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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

First Broken Heart

3 replies

AfternoonDelight · 20/02/2012 14:51

Hello ladies!

I was hoping I could turn to you for a bit of advice on behalf of my sister. She's 20, and has just come out of her first serious-ish relationship (they were together about 4 months). She's devastated as you can imagine even if he did sound like an absolute twunt. He ended it by texting her at 6 in the morning saying that she was clingy and posessive, shit in bed etc etc. She was on the phone to me most of yesterday and she is coming to visit this weekend. I plan on spoilling her rotten, letting her spend lots of time with my DCs, and stocking up on chocolate, wine and ice cream Grin

The thing is, I've never been in her situation before. It's not a stealth boast, but I've been with DP since I was 18 (25 now) and I'm getting married in September. He's only the second person I ever kissed and the only man I've slept with. I've never had a broken heart - so I'm not sure the best way to empathise with her.

Apart from telling her he's a twunt (he is) and she deserves better (she really does) is there anything else I can do for her? He seems to have massively shook her self confidence in a relatively short period of time, and there seemed to be a bit of emotional abuse going on (she only told me about this last night - I'm furious). Is there any specific advice I can give her? Is there an association/website I can direct her to to talk about the EA?

I'm desperately worried about her, she's my only sister and I'm very protective of her. If it was her posting instead of me, what advice would you give?

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
diddl · 20/02/2012 14:55

Well she might not want to hear you say bad things about him, however true.

I would offer a sympathetic ear & make the appropriate noises tbh.

something2say · 20/02/2012 15:43

Get her to tell the stories over and over again, and cry, so hand her tissues and wine, and then gently turn the conversation onto other stuff, but expect her to have a long face all day and to cry periodically and want to tell more stories. No need to say much yourself, unless she asks your opinion. Broken hearts suck and ultimately there is nothing to be done about them until they mend.

AfternoonDelight · 20/02/2012 16:07

Thanks for the advice.

diddle I haven't actually said anything bad about him to her, as much as I want to. He is definitely a twunt though.

OP posts:
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