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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being slowly dumped?

10 replies

LeNameChange · 20/02/2012 12:04

Let me start by saying that I know there's been a similar thread to this very recently, so if you're bored of this topic, move away now...

So. For months now, I have a serious crush on someone. Serious. Like, knee trembling. One of those "I can't actually believe that my lust could ever be reciprocated" type things. He's separated, and has been for 2 years.

Anyway, slowly slowly I got to know him and we had some drinks, and it became clear that he might well be interested. Fast forward to last week, and we spent a really great night, snogging for hours. We then couldn't see each other for a week but there was a veritable barrage of texts from him, saying how much he'd enjoyed it etc. Then we met up again on Friday night and again had a fabulous evening. (I won't bore you with how gorgeous he was...).

Cue more texting over the weekend.

But no further request for a date (other than in oblique terms), and since yesterday, the texts have dropped off more and more (none today).

So - have I been dumped - and perhaps most importantly what on earth do I do? Thank the Lord I didn't sleep with him, eh?

AAAARRGGGGHH. and worse than that, I feel really rejected - what, didn't the reality live up to the promise? Sad

OP posts:
foolonthehill · 20/02/2012 12:09

or he might be working? seeing his parents? somewhere without access to mobile signal?

It's only Monday.

You could text him and say casually "would you like to get together on eg Thursday" (make it specific......not just any day...that sounds too desperate) and see what happens.......

I wouldn't throw yourself into the pit of despair yet...and if it does turn out that he is not interested yes be glad you didn't sleep with him!!! Cos if you had you might still be with him...and it might only be for that one thing!

LeNameChange · 20/02/2012 12:15

You're very wise Grin and you're right. This is one of Mumsnet's immeasurable charms of course. I can do all my obsessing on here, and not come across as a total obsessive with him...

thanks for taking the time to reply. I'll wait as long as I can and then send him a message I think. Very casual...

OP posts:
foolonthehill · 20/02/2012 12:20
Grin
LeNameChange · 20/02/2012 12:52

Ok, so I lasted all of about half an hour. I've sent him a casual message - not actually mentioning a date - and we'll see . Goodness I hate this! x

OP posts:
GoingForGoalWeight · 20/02/2012 13:19

This is why i stay single, i'm not as brave as you OP! :)

marmiteandjam · 20/02/2012 17:02

I had a very similar situation recently after I went out on a few dates with someone and they just suddenly started ignoring me. Hope it works out better for you Grin

something2say · 20/02/2012 17:03

Did he reply yet??

I've got a mildly famous drummer who poked me on FB and now likes the song I posted. So I have to live through your texts!!

awaywego1 · 20/02/2012 17:11

So hard, I'm an obsessive in this situation an cant deal with uncertainty so I'd send him a very direct message saying 'really enjoyed seeing you, do u want to meet up again, let me know either way' I hate not knowing. Fingers crossed for ya Smile

Lueji · 20/02/2012 17:30

There's only so much texting someone can endure...
I assume you replied to his texts.
Did you send any without being a reply?

maleview70 · 20/02/2012 18:13

I wouldn't send any more. Makes you look desperate and will give him the message that he is in charge after only a few dates.

Leave it now and see what happens. Whatever he decides/ has decided wont be affected by you sending lots of texts.

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