Caught him out by text - what now?

[blackout23]

Hi

Partner has cheated on me repeatedly over the past 2 years. I am stupid and lovesick so i have forgiven him each time. Most recently it was a few weeks ago a girl he met in the pub and had seen her loads and loads until i found out by seeing a text from her when he was in the shower.

Today he left his phone open and there was a text to a number saying saw your ad in the paper im looking for fun. I had a look in the paper and there was an ad from a slapper asking men to text her cos she wanted some fun. I dont know this woman but i think its safe to say she is a slapper because no one normal puts an ad in the paper like that. There was no reply so i got out my old mobile and sent him a text pretending to be her replying to the advert. said i was 32 and looking for nsa fun etc etc. he replied saying hi im single looking for fun.

i replied saying when you free to meet but he is doing a removal job just now so wont text back for a bit.

how should i play this?

text a bit more and confront him tonight?

or arrange to meet him tomorrow and turn up at the place i have arranged to meet up with him and confront him there?

i can't describe my feelings at the moment - anger doesnt even come in to it anymore. I am 100% leaving him this time there is no way i can stay in a relationship with him because to be honest it hasnt even been a relationship the past few months.

i am on the cambridge diet to lose loads of weight quickly to try and stop him cheating and so far ive lost 2 stone but its made no difference whatsoever. He still wont come near me and its not for the want of trying either - i send suggestive texts and i get ignored and he turns away from me in bed. I have been getting attention from a guy at work but because i am a decent human being, i would never cheat on him no matter how much he does it to me.

We have bought a house together and i have a 3 year old DD from a previous relationship (her dad dissapeared of the face of the earth when she was 2 weeks old, havent heard from him since).

I know im stupid for staying with him and buying a house etc with him but i really thought he would change and he loved me. Its so obvious that he doesnt but what i dont understand is why he bought a house with me and lives with me when he doesnt want to be with me and wants 'fun' with other women. Trust me, its not really that fun lol.

any advice please?

He wants the stability of a relationship but wants the fun of sex with whom he pleases when he pleases. If he loved you your weight would not factor into it.

He only loves himself.

FabbyChic he certainly does love himself and i can't let him get away with it this time. If i let him away with it again, he will keep doing it to me. It's time to pack his stuff i have enough evidence that he was going to cheat even though he hasn't met this 'woman' yet.

Time to find some black bags i think

You don't need to keep up the text masquerade, or have a big confrontation, unless you want to.

You had all the evidence you needed well before this. And even without evidence of this sort, you are entitle to leave a relationship that isn't making you happy.

So: handle this however makes you feel best, but I would recommend not stooping to any more text games. Leave with your head held high: you are lovely woman deserving of love and respect. He wouldn't give it to you. He does not deserve the benefit of your company anymore.

Get legal advice re: the house.

You don't need any evidence. He is treating you like shit and you need to leave him. He sounds horrible (and a bit of a slapper himself)

He will actually have sex with anything and anyone. he doesnt care about looks or anything going by the past few women he has cheated with (seriously, im no looker but one had a moustache and the other needed carers to help her get out of bed in the morning because she was so big)

It's time to leave. he can leave the house, i have done nothing wrong so i don't see why i should have to take on the hassle of moving again and finding somewhere else to live. im pretty sure one of his other women would be delighted to have him live with them and drain their bank accounts dry.

If you bought the house in both names, you can't just throw him out. See a lawyer.

i think he will actually just go. i'll speak to my solicitor tomorrow and see what he thinks is the best thing to do in this situation.

i pay the mortgage but his name is on the agreement.

i also have a child so hopefully things will go in my favour.

You losing weight will not stop him cheating, although well done for losing so much. View it as for yourself. But why do you think he's turned off by your weight if you then say he has cheated with a very large woman?
I'm glad you finally seem to have found your self-respect. Not sure what is different about the cheating this time - why you're kicking him out now when you didn't before. Anyway, doesn't matter, just GET RID OF HIM!!!
Good luck.

thanks clam. i have just finally had enough and i am sick of finding excuses for why he is cheating. He is doing it because he can. He told me once he cheated on me cos i was fat and done nothing for him so i dont understand why he cheats with women bigger than me either. i think he will just go with anyone and anything that puts it on offer because getting in touch with someone who put an ad for sex in a paper is just really low.

I cant wait to sort my life out and get rid of him for good. I cant wait to see his face when he realises he has been texting me and not her.

It wont be long till i am slim and single and i'll find someone who loves me for who i am, not my bank account or whatever he wanted to be with me for. I never nag him, never ever complain that he goes to the pub 5 nights a week, put up with him cheating, never ask him to help out with the little one or anything and he still doesnt want to be with me.

Maybe thats whre ive gone wrong.

I think i need my mum lol

Get rid before he wastes any more of your time. Its not your weight thats made him cheat. He's the one with issues. And i hope he spends the rest of his life in the lonely hearts section in the paper

You haven't 'gone wrong'.

He's an arsehole. you will be much better off without him.

Is he financially abusive, too? Just wondering because you say that you pay the mortgage even though his name is on the agreement, too.

In your position I'd arrange a date and let him arrive to find all of his bags.