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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone with someone they weren't initially attracted to? Advice and opinions wanted.

28 replies

millieandernie · 19/02/2012 14:16

And how do you see them now?

I'm dating someone who I didn't physically fancy at all when I met him but I really liked him so kept on seeing him. We get on really well, have loads in common, he makes me smile Smile We've kissed a few times now but haven't had a full on kissing session. I've had a 'tingle' when kissing him and cuddling up with him feels lovely.....but when I look at him I still don't think he's that hot.

When I'm not with him I think about him a lot, and really look forward to seeing him. In personality, he seems perfect for me.

I've never started a relationship that's started this way before...they've usually been based on mutual attraction and a kiss has usually led to a lot of kissing which has usually led to sex. My last 3 relationships have all been with people who I looked at and thought they were the best looking man ever, and couldn't wait to get naked with. But 2 of those were bastards and one was a cheat. And those relationships didn't last,and the two that were bastards started to look ugly once their real personality came through. (sadly I still think the cheat is the best looking man I've ever met, but so too do most other girls)

Everyone keeps saying to me that it's good to take it slow and I do agree but can't help thinking that if it was going to happen it would have done by now...or I'd have at least wanted to a bit more.

I kind of want to have sex with him, but haven't had that uncontrollable urge to rip his clothes off when we start kissing. Partly because I'm enjoying talking for hours and that can go once you start shagging for hours instead, but partly because he doesn't make me go weak at the knees just by looking at him.

So what do you think? Is it worth continuing? Or should I let him go? We've been dating 2 months.

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 14/08/2017 11:19

"'m wondering if you are confusing feeling attracted to with recognising good looks. "

Well, if they were the same thing, only very good looking people would ever have partners. Of course, you can develop an attraction/chemistry to someone who's not conventionally attractive.

Do people generally go around thinking their partner is the best looking person in the world?

Zena1973 · 14/08/2017 13:09

This thread was started in 2012! Would love to know how things worked out?

catbasilio · 14/08/2017 15:23

Me. I kept going out with him because he was persistent, attentive and funny. Had thought of dumping him many times though. Then one day after about 6 months, a switch literally switched on. I clearly remember that day. All of a sudden I felt the chemistry.

Whether he is the right one for me I am still not sure, but the chemistry hit like a lighting.

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