can you learn to re love or should i say how do i make him fall in love with me again..

[CRAZYCREW]

Long story really, we have never lived togther (his choice) been on and off for years now and just before Christmas I called it a day asI was not getting any support or anything.

Not had contact for 10 weeks but I am missing him and know I love him very much so started texting and he called me poppet etc and put kisses. I ahve been playing all happy, joined slimming club, computer course etc and acted I was moving on etc...Anyway I know I love him and want him. Why I love him I dont know as he has no money, not good looking but love him. He is lazy, depressed but know lots of that is due to athritus (rhumatoid) he is on lots of medication and gone from being a fit health man when we first met to not going out of the house unless forced to.

Okay I text to a point where I thought I will just tell him my true feeling etc... and he agreed but think i pushed him where we could meet and chat. we have been togther sort of for a week and something not right. He said mid week he has to work at getting his feelings back and that he does not love me and when he agreed to meet he was worried as did not think he could get his feelings back. We have had a good week and i been at the hospital alot as my grandson very ill in icu.

The question is I have asked him to talk and open up and he wont. i said i dont wanted to be used... no sexual relationship as he has told me he is having problems in that depatmrnt and think this a big iusse with him too.

What should i do give up.. he calls me petal and latter part of the week darling but i want to be with him and miss him when away. we both had no children this eveing (his son loves with him) and he nver suggested me going round etc... surely if he had feelings he would want me and spend time with me... helpi am baffled here...

You need to really move on rather than playing at it. Sorry.

I think I do dont i. Thanks for replying. I feel i am doing all the chasing and do you agree he would want to spend time with me if he had feeling etc... although he told the nurse at his hospital appointmnet he just wants to be left alone most of time. He never goes out or anything unless he has too.

From what you've said, it very much sounds as you've been a convenience rather than a love interest for him for a long time.

You've tried everything and it's now time to throw in the towel. He doesn't love you and love isn't something that can be forced or made to happen, honey.

When relationships end hold on to the thought that 'when door one closes, another one opens'.

If you keep attending your slimming club and computer course and get out and about as often as you can, I suspect you won't be alone for long and hopefully your next catch won't be a tiddler.

but he's told you he doesn't have feelings believe him.

you think he's lazy and unattractive and dumped him previously because you had no support.

realistically you got lonely and scared and grabbed backwards.

no i love being with him. I talked ti him today and said he will not lead me on. I find him very attractive. I do know he is depressed and the dr given him a form to fill in but he wont fill it in as thinks a taboo area. we have been out today just to collect something then i dropped him off. I am not lonely as kept busy.

I do love him and he did not actually say he did not have feelings he said he thinks they have been dormant. we do share a 3 yr old little person who lives with me. he did sell his house to move in with me and we extended but he got cold feet and his son said he did not want to share him.. he is 14.

I am very independent person and think and wish i did not love him but I do anthought long and hard about it. I ahve said to him he wither makes a proper sort of commitmnet or that is it but like i say he never wants to hold hands or touch me and likes his own compnay too.

Thanks

he's obviously depressed - you either have to accept his lukewarm attitude as it is, and hope that he's off some of the meds soon, or you have to leave, I can't see what can you do (nothing really).

no good crazy! how many years of your life are you going to give to this? your story sounds familiar actually i think i may have read another thread by you a while back?

sounds like it's been an awful rollercoaster for you.

Look, give up. For the sake of your own mental health. This man does not love you and does not want to be your partner. There is nothing you can do to 'make' him love you and TBH it's not actually very ethical to keep pestering and bleating and clinging on to someone who has said that he doesn't feel love for you.