Not sure where to start on this.
My DH has a sister who he is not overly close to but they get on OK. When I became pg with my DS she was apparently extatic at the prospect of becoming an auntie and couldn?t wait for the baby to be born. When he was born she came to see us in the hospital, but after that she appeared to lose all interest. The next time she saw him he was 10 months old and she paid him no attention then either, then after we had gone home we were accused of not letting her get close to my DS because when she tried to pick him up he cried (because he didn?t know her) and I would then take him to calm him. (she picked him up maybe once, and the time she could have spent with him she was outside doing other things, and then when it was his bedtime we were expected to keep him up even though he was over tired and wanted to go to bed, because she was ready to be with him then, and when we didn?t we were accused of being too set in a routine). Anyway she claimed that she wanted to be a good auntie, and we saw her twice more that year. Since then we have seen her 3 times (DS is now 3), even though she has been to this town several times on other business and has never made the effort to come and see her nephew. The last two times we?ve seen her were a year apart. Consequently, my DS doesn?t know who she is, to the extent that the last time she came my DH showed him photos of her beforehand so that he would at least show some recognission so as not to ?upset the family?. This annoyed me unbelieveably, I feel that if she can?t make the effort to get to know my DS, I don?t see why we should groom my DS so he knows her. I can accept that she?s not interested in him, but whenever she comes round she acts as if she?s his well-loved, and well-respected auntie, to the extent that the last time she came round, she frequently corrected his manners, making him say please and thank you etc, and it made me see red! This woman has no relationship with my DS at all, she comes round as and when she feels like it, and when she does she acts as if she?s never been away, and worst of all, none of the rest of the family seem to even notice! I know that if I said anything to her then it would be me that is seen to be in the wrong, because I?m too ?possessive? of my DS in the eyes of the family. Rest of family are OK BTW, it?s just this particular member that irritates me. Do I have a right to be annoyed about this?
As matter of interest, we are due to see her again in next couple of weeks at a family occasion and this is why it has come up.