Do you have casual sex?

[ThoseArentSpiritFingers]

Just wondering opinions really, can you have sex and it means nothing more than a bit of fun? How quickly would you have sex with some one? Opinions on one night stands?

Is a one night stand better or worse than regular casual sex with the same person?

Have had loads in the past. I don't so much now but that is due to lack of opportunity/lack of interest. It's fun and I regard it as a healthier way to interact than treating sex as something 'sacred' that you can only do when committed. Because that often means putting up with rubbish sex as you don't know any better.

Thank you for replying. I've just come out of a long term relationship, and want to be single for a whilsE, but don't see why that means I have to give up sex, as I have a high sex drive. So I've had sex twice with two different guys in the last two weeks. Both of whom I am still in contact with/possibility of meeting up again soon, but on a totally casual basis.

As far as I can see it if I can get regular sex without the complications if a relationship (not dissing relationships, just really don't want one atm) then it's a win win situation!

I know though that if I told my friends about it they would be shocked. I told them when I slept with the first guy, and they were shocked, so know that I cannot mention that there's been a second guy... But I don't think that this makes me a dirty person, which is how they would make me feel.

I've had a few one night stands in the past couple of years, I'm in my 50's and divorced and took the view that life's too short to wait for something that may never appear. However, whilst the ONS can be very exciting in some ways, in others its bland and unconnected, so I've decided to spend time finding men I really fancy and spend time talking to, to establish something that may be more than a ONS - however, I'd still have sex on the first date if I wanted to, I don't discuss it with friends as they wouldn't understand (younger than me, married etc), but since I enjoy sex, I'm not going to draw some arbitrary line and say, 'not until the 2nd/3rd date' etc. I've recently had regular casual sex with a man who was adventurous, open, intelligent and considerate - I had the best time of my life ... enough said!

Hi RAIMA
crossed posts - that's the reason I don't discuss it with friends - I don't want their approval or disapproval - I don't have to justify it to anyone. I'm not hurting anyone, I'm enjoying myself and looking forward to the next liaison.

What you're doing is fine. Do you have any non-judgy friends you can tell? If not, keep it to yourself or make some new friends.

I really wish I could have been Missy DropKnickers....it always sounds fun. But alas, I am not brave enough. I tend to really fall in love with people and care....the thought of it being casual wouldn't work for me.

Sex is sex and yes, some people can use it in the same way as they use physical exercise. But human beings are complex and feelings can also become involved, even when you don't want them to.

(Off to change user name to Missy DropKnickers)

i think the only point of waiting till a 3rd date or later is if you're after a serious relationship and want to weed out men who are only after casual sex.

if you don't want a serious relationship then those 'tests' are pointless.

personally i have to trust somebody to have sex with them.. so usually when i was single that meant somebody i already knew as a friend or somebody i regularly had casual sex.. i wouldnt' feel safe sleeping with random strangers. but that's just me.

There is no right or wrong you do what is right for you at the time, some people you meet and want to shag straight away others it takes time before you want to jump their bones.

Just enjoy yourself and play safe.

I slept with the kids dad the first night, that was 26 years ago, we lasted 10 years.

i just want to also say 'stay safe' - particularly if you dont' have friends you can tell where you're going and who you're with and if you're with people you really don't know... just make sure that you look out for your own physical safety and boundaries (i'm sure you will, but it's harder if nobody knows where you are).

I don't think I could do the total stranger thing. Both guys just now are friends of friends, or have similar circles etc, one of whom I have known very vaguely for about 2 years, so there is an element of knowing them, but not enough to say that we are friends.

I do have other friends that are more open to stuff like this, but I don't know if I could trust them not to spread it, so looks like I'll just have to keep my exploits to myself! I do have guy friends from work that I could trust not to judge or spread, but they know both of the guys so would feel a bit wrong of me to be saying anything to them I think.

I would if I was single. Just ignore idiotic judgements that belong in 1950.

Sometimes I am a bit "take it or leave it"

is that what you meant ?

I have been having a sexual relationship with someone for the past 15 years on and off. I didnt see him whilst I was married but got back in touch when I was single. He is perfect for me as I dont want a relationship as in commitment etc. I dont sleep with anyone else. I think he probably does but im cool with that as the whole thing for me is that I dont want to know. That way I dont get jealous, paranoid etc etc. I know where I stand exactly and that is that we love each other loads as in friends but have the most amazing no strings sex too. I hope some of this makes sense... I see him about once a week if I want to and so he fits in with my sex drive and my life. My DS doesnt know he exists as I only ever see him when ds is at his dads. I really love my situation. I dont however like one night stands, Ive had them in the past a couple of times but I dont think its safe, I also prefer to have a level of intamacy. (sp)

I'm the same as Punkatheart, although i tried casual sex twice, it wasn't for me. Sexless three years. :(

No right or wrong do whatever is best for you. I've had one night stands FWB (nightmare!) and in my 4 long term relationships had sex on the 1st night. AFAI concerned there are 2 rules:
1.stay safe

1. Bollocks to all other rules.

I don't have any sex anymore as married with 2 under 3's.

BUT

I used to and I loved it! Great way to spend some free time. Be careful and make sure you are both in it for the same thing so to speak

I slept with DH on date 3 and 6 years later still going strong. I probably wouldn't on a first date with a potential partner, but after date 1 anything goes, or did go, for me.

Not any more as I don't want to. Prior to this though I did, -lots-! The soonest I had sex with a total stranger was an hour. I found that if someone was relationship material it was better to wait till a second date, but not longer than 4 or 5 dates, because for me the sexual chemistry is important, and if I didn't want to shag them by then I probably wouldn't ever. I preferred ONSs though, as if it became regular with one person one or other of us would end up wanting or thinking we were in a "proper" relationship.

I used to have casual sex quite frequently, before I settled down with DH. I preferred ONSs to FWBs, for the same reasons that bonzo mentioned. I found online dating was quite good for meeting people for no strings.

I never discussed it with friends though - not sure why I would need to. Not because I was ashamed of it but it's just not something they'd need to know, I wouldn't want to know about their sex lives either.

There's nothing wrong with sex for sex's sake IMO.