Am I being petty?

[MaryJane40]

DH didn't get me a Valentine's card. I got him a card and a huge box of chocolates. I gave him till Wednesday - he's always late - but nothing. So I took his card off the mantlepiece this morning and binned it.
I've not mentioned it and neither has he. How pathetic am I!
BTW we've been married 22 years so I'm used to disappointment but this has bothered me more than it should.
Am I being too sensitive?

Does he normally do cards?
After 22yrs married im sure you could ask him wheres my card? (too late now tho should have asked tues)

Why didn't/don't you ask him?

Is this the way you usually communicate - gestures like the card-binning, that go unnoticed and therefore not discussed?

Yes he always sends me a card! That's why I'm miffed. No rhyme or reason for it.
No I didn't eat any of the chocs, but he happily scoffed them saying how lovely they were KNOWING he had no intention of giving me a paltry bloody card. At the time I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, thinking I would get the said card maybe the next morning.

Well unless you ask him you won't know whether there is anything behind what sounds like a change in behaviour.

The above poster has it spot on, I should have said something earlier, the longer it's left the harder it gets.
I did say it was petty

Due to our work patterns we rarely see each other during the week, so don't have time for deep discussions. But we say we love each other every morning and go to bed happy, there are no 'issues'

I don't think your disappointment is petty. If it's the norm in your relationship to exchange cards and mark the day, something must have changed. If he'd simply forgotten, presumably he knows you well enough to have said and apologised?

I think the way you've dealt with it is passive-aggressive, so I just wondered why you can't tell him that this has hurt you? That's what's behind this, isn't it? You feel hurt?

Hang on, there are. . . . .

Char, I do. Passive-aggressive moi!?

I suppose I want him to think I'm not bothered

And he doesn't 'do' sorry, it's an alien word to him, gawd love him

But if you hide your hurt feelings, then he never has to think about them, and can carry on regardless.

Are you afraid he'll laugh it off or dismiss you? Is it some sort of power struggle?

Why do you want him to think you're not bothered, when you are?

It seems strange to be playing these sorts of games after 22 years together.

I know! I am being pathetic!

I think he's a bit of a pig, actually, eating the chocolates and not getting you anything. Why couldn't he, as soon as he saw the chocolates and card, run out to get you something?

Retrieve card from bin, put it in a new envelope and give it to him again. Repeat until he says "Is something up, luv?"