Help confused and trapped

[K0404]

Does anyone have any experience with woman's aid or refuge? What do they do with ladies that have children that can be at home cos of abuse bullying issues with oh?

Read this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1405691-Going-into-refuge-my-experience

I'm not sure what you're asking here - are you proposing to seek refuge from Women's Aid but intend to leave your dc with your abusive oh? If so, why would you want to do that?

Link here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1405691-Going-into-refuge-my-experience

Is there a missing t?

Refuges can take in women with their children.

Yes sorry I ment what do they do with women that have children but need to get away from oh? Are there places for mums and child to go? Thanks for the link x

I'm sure there was a t missing.

Refuges are for women and their children. It would never be fair to leave them behind.

If you feel threatened they will protect you and will not disclose you are there.

Check this about protecting your privacy online, if that may be an issue. www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=00010001000800010001&sectionTitle=Keeping+yourself+safe

I would never leave him behind I miss wrote that post.

For more practical advice from the Women's Aid site:

Moving into a refuge with your children

For reasons of safety, you may find it impossible to prepare your children in advance for an imminent move to a refuge. However, as soon as you can do so safely, do tell them what is happening. You could perhaps make this move less threatening by saying that you are all going away for a little while to a special place for mothers and children. Explain to your children that the move does not mean that they will never see other family members, their friends or their pets again.

Most refuges have children's support workers who will make your children feel safe and at home in the refuge, and almost all refuges will have other children staying there when you arrive. There will always be a playroom for children, and the children's worker will arrange activities for young refuge residents both in and away from the refuge. These children's activities will benefit you as well as your children; you will have time to consider your own options and discuss your plans with other adults while your children participate in supervised activities.

Children are an important part of refuge life, and living in a refuge can be a positive experience for your children. They will have the opportunity to meet other children in a similar situation to their own. They can talk about their experiences with each other and begin to understand that they are not alone. With the help and support of the refuge staff and volunteers, children can be helped to come to an understanding of their situation.

Visit www.womensaid.org.uk and call the 24/7 Helpline but please be aware that it can be oversubscribed at times and especially at weekends.

Alternatively, search 'womens aid' followed by your nearest city/town or county and give your local service a call Mon-Friday during office hours - although their website may list an out-of-hours number.

In an emergency, call the police or go to your nearest police station and ask to be referred to their domestic violence unit who can make all of the necessary arrangements for you and your dc to be admitted to a refuge.

Without knowing the circumstances, it's not possible to advise you fully but please be aware that if you are married or co-own/co-rent a property it may be possible for you to obtain an occupation order that will require him to live elsewhere - Women's Aid can give you further information on this.

Oh god you guys are amazing the information there is so helpful. Thank you do much

Make sure you have all important documents (passports etc) if possible, stay safe

I hope everything works out for you - do please come back with an update or should you need any further info or support in making the move towards a more fulfilling life for you and your dc.

If you think you may need to leave in a hurry sometime, you could leave some clothes, and at the very least copies of documents, with a trusted friend.

Don't try to be strong. Seek help, by the police if necessary.

Keep safe. :-)