I WANT TO PROPOSE TO HIM! HAS ANYONE DOES THIS?

[AppleDay]

I've been with my boyfriend for three years now, and we're trying for a baby (long story). Obviously it's leap year on February 29th and I'd really like to propose to him. Then again, I'm not sure - how will that make him feel? How will it make me feel? If I'm honest, I'd prefer him to propose to me (how can I admit that and call myself a feminist!)... So anyway, I'd love to hear if anyone else has done this - how did you propose to him and what did he say?? Or if anyone's planning to, and wants to share the nerves with me! Thanks so much xx

I disagree that babies are a bigger commitment than marriage. Marriage is a commitment between the adults, to each other and to "them" as a family. Having a child is at best a commitment to the child, although there's nothing to stop one parent disappearing off the scene and leaving the other to raise the child.

Some people don't need a formal commitment to be confident in their relationship, and that's nobody else's business. Others, myself included, need the reassurance of the formalities before bringing a child into the world. It doesn't matter to anyone except you and your DP who does the proposing, as long as you're both happy with it. If you've got an inkling as to whether he'd like to be proposed to, or if he'd find it emasculating, follow your instinct.

I couldn't do it but a colleague of mine did it last year and they married on Tuesday - Valentine's Day! Good luck!

I wouldn't ask, but i would tell him that you want to marry him and bring it to the table...... If he's not up for it ever would that be a deal breaker? If so best to find out before you start a family.

I did, after he kept asking me but never seriously! We've been married for nearly 8y now. :o

I also dont agree that children are a sign of commitment. They can happen by accident. I dont think many people get married by accident.

Hi, I didn't ask my dh, but I knew a couple and she asked him to marry him on Feb 29th.

He worked in my building, and although I knew her, she was in a different building. She rang up, by pre-arrangement got herself on speaker phone and asked him. He said yes, and as far as i am aware they are still married (this was 15 years and I've moved on since.

I'm not sure I would've wanted to do anything so public myself - but I totally agree that a woman can do the asking. After all, we're all equal now aren't we

I also don't agree that children are more of a commitment that marriage - since a couple can very effectively co-parent and no longer be in a relationship together. I also don't think that a couple has to be married to be committed, but I'm very happy to be married I must admit.

Good luck if you do go ahead!

i was asked by DW ..... i knew that she was special but we were young....hasn't affected our relationship that she asked IMO

why don't you say..."thinking of letting you marry me but I still have some doubts...."

I would establish whether he is prepared to commit to a permanent relationship with you before you try to have a baby.

Does he actually know you would rather be married first? If not, you'd better let him know. It's his cue.

If he doesn't deliver his line, forget it.

Oh, thanks so much for all these really helpful replies! I love Sandstorm's proposal story too - the pizza and the bottle of hose rose sound lovely. It is complicated, in that I'm pretty sure we're heading for marriage: he secretly bought me an engagement ring last year, on a road trip across the States, but so far he hasn't proposed. It was hilarious, we found this beautiful vintage ring, tried it on, then he disappeared off and sent me to buy coffee and then I saw him sneaking back into the shop and coming out with a suspicious bulge in his pocket (!)... although it sounds odd when I write it.

I'm not in a HUGE rush to be married, I don't mind about weddings and all that fuss, but I think it would be lovely to be engaged. I recently realised that I love him more than ever, and after being together three years, that surprised me, how strongly I felt.

I agree that it's probably better to let him do the asking. And of course, like most women, I want to be proposed to. I suppose I'm just being impatient...

If he's bought you an engagement ring then chill, he's obviously thinking about it!

Yep on top of a windy hill in an old ruined stately home i just thought what the hell and went for it answer was Yes , not married yet but have 1DD and one on the way and we're getting married next year

DH and I proposed to each other on NYE in 1999/2000. At midnight we turned round to each other and asked.

I claim I proposed to him, he claims he proposed to me. Nice to do it on a special day, you always remember it and he always buys me a little something to give to me at midnight on NYE (although managed to forget Christmas/BDay 2 yrs running... ).

We have been married 12 yrs and together 16.

I came home from a night out and DH had been looking after my DD, the house was clean, she had been cooked a proper tea, she was fast asleep, and he had waited up for me because he wanted to know that I was safe and had a good night. I asked him, he said yes and this year we'll have been married 13 years

I know of someone who is planning to ask their DP on Valentine's Day - hope he says yes!

I did,wasn't leap year,we had been together six years. Now married 16. Worked for me!us!

doh! Not Valentine's Day - I meant Feb 29th of course! :o