Renewing Our Wedding Vows

[flossy999]

After 14 years together and 12 years of marriage I unfortunately broke my vows.
My husband wants the vows to be reinstated.
We are going to have a meal out with about 20 friends and family and my husbands son is going to do us a blessing.
I would like our 9 year old daughter to read a poem but just cant find anything at all that seems suitable
Any help or suggestions would be much appreciated

I'm somewhat puzzled by your post as you don't seem overly enthusiastic at the prospect of having your vows reinstated and I'm wondering if this is because it effectively requires you to admit your guilt in public?

Is your husband's son a cleric, priest, rabbi or similar? If not, I can't see what benefit other than appeasing his ego can be gained from this shindig as any vows that are 'reinstated' won't be any more binding than the ones you previously made and broke.

Tempted as I am to point you in the direction of children's poems such as 'The Spider and the Fly' or 'The Bubble and the Rock' for your dd to recite on your second big day, I suggest that you give consideration to collaborating with her on writing a short ode that comes from her heart.

Alternatively, the following wouldn't, to my mind, present too much of a challenge for a 9yr old to recite in company:

'May the sun bring you new energy by day
May the moon softly restore you by night
May the rain wash away your worries
And may you live your lives in peace, love, and happiness'

Or she could simply give the first toast 'To Mama and Papa (or mum and dad or whatever she calls you) ...

In the event that the above may seem a tad churlish, I hope that all of the assembled have a great day/night and that you, especially, enjoy yourself.

We had a civil wedding and would both struggle to remember what our vows were as we made them up. I presume you had the religious version. I have no idea what poem would be suitable to your condition and think you'd be best spending a few hours looking through poems in the library. Izzy's sun one sounds nice and fairly vague.
The way you put it makes you sound very under the thumb, it doesn't sound a fun event, more of an ordeal to get through.

Are you going to be getting a designer lovely outfit and a serious rock, flossy?

If you're going to be plighting your troth again to the same man the ring should be considerably bigger second time round - but do make sure it's designed to fit your finger rather than your nose.

...it's true, you don't sound enthusiastic about this. is this supposed to be for you to admit your faults?

Why involve young children in this apology for your adultery?

There are other vows apart from keeping oneself only for the other and all that rot jazz, mara.

So, flossy, did you forsake him when he was sick, win the lottery and fail to give him a share or, if your earlier vows were of the old fashioned variety, did you commit the cardinal sin of failing to obey him?

What a horrible thing to say Mara. Hope you have a perfect day

dh and I were thinking of having some sort of reaffirmation ceremony. He had an affair a few years back and we separated for a while. I thought it a rather romantic idea, although I suspect we won't actually get around to doing anything. I quite like izzyzin's little poem. If dh and I do get around to having a ceremony of some sort we'd definitely like the children to have a formal role (especially as dd has never been a bridesmaid).

Go from me. Yet I feel that I shall stand
Henceforward in thy shadow. Nevermore
Alone upon the threshold of my door
Of individual life, I shall command
The uses of my soul, nor lift my hand
Serenely in the sunshine as before,
Without the sense of that which I forbore -
Thy touch upon the palm. The widest land
Doom takes to part us, leaves thy heart in mine
With pulses that beat double. What I do
And what I dream include thee, as the wine
Must taste of its own grapes. And when I sue
God for myself, He hears that name of thine,
And sees within my eyes the tears of two.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Might be too much for a 9 year old, but quite nice for renewing of vows.....

Nice? Seems quite a depressing view of marriage to me. Not keen on the standing in his shadow never able to have serene moments in the sunshine stuff.

As our marriage was second time round we promised vague stuff like to enjoy each others company, be nice to each others children and hopefully grow old together, but with more complicated and eloquant language.

Bloody hell, janajos - if that's your idea of a good time, you sure ain't getting an invite of any of my parties

I suppose it's okay for a funeral and it has served to give me a few ideas about pursuing a lawsuit against god but, other than that, the Portuguese are welcome to it.

Don't renew your wedding vows. Doing so is probably a symptom rather than a cause, but people who do this tend to break up bit long after.

Th

Pressed post too soon

The dispassionate way you describe it makes you sound less than enthused I must say.

The only people I know who have renewed their vows seem to have done it as a sort of desperate 'band aid' to try to stick together a marriage that, at least from an outsider's perspective, seems to be a bit of a sham. There is no way in hell I would ever renew my vows. If I had my time again, I would never have made any vows in the first place!! Funnily enough, I had this conversation with my husband!

Sorry that came over as a very negative post! I suppose I was just reflecting on what a few other posters had picked up on - do YOU want to renew your vows or is it your husband who is pushing for it?

Annual renewal of their vowels doesn't seem to have worked for Ms Klum & Seal.