Things haven't been good between me and DP for a while (to be honest things have never been quite right since we had the DCs and DS is 5 now!). We go through stages where the stresses of both working almost full time, looking after the DCs, illnesses, having issues with DS wetting and soiling himself daily, so we are seeing doctors/hospital about that just all get on top of us and we barely speak to each other and just struggle through each day. Then things tend to come to a head, we talk about how crap everything is and try to make an effort to pay each other attention and try to get our sense of humour and perspective back.
But recently the bad bit has gone on for much longer, and neither of us can be bothered to even make the effort to talk to each other about what to do about it. We just exist in the same house but have no affection for each other. We don't argue or dislike each other, we just don't do anything. 
I've suffered with depression and anxiety on and off for most of my life and I've been on medication since DD was born three years ago. DP always bottles things up and it had always been quite difficult to know how he is really feeling. I've been feeling uphappy in the relationship for while partly because we don't talk to each other and it is really difficult to have any kind of conversation with DP apart from just about practical day-to-day things.
Anyway, last night I thought I'm going to make an effort to try and talk this through and spoke to DP about how we need to talk and work out how we can try to make more of an effort with each other, maybe going out without the DCs every so often, or relationship counselling, or whatever. We talked a little bit - I mentioned about how I have no energy left for physical affection after working all day and doing all the household chores, etc and felt DP didn't pull his weight around the house, and didn't appreciate how much I did.
He admitted he didn't do enough and was lazy, and he said he thinks he may be depressed. After talking a bit he eventually said he'd been feeling like it for a couple of years, he finds it really difficult to go out and be sociable with people (which is why he gave up his previous job which involved a lot of talking to people - I had always wondered why he changed jobs - he never really talked about it) and he sometimes feels angry that I don't show him affection but then he thinks why would anyone be affectionate to him because he's not worth it.
He cried then, which he very very rarely does. And it actually made me feel a bit relieved that he'd actually opened up and I had an idea of how he was feeling so we could try to help each other. We talked a bit about whether it would help if he talked to friends more (he's lost contact with all but one of his friends because he stopped going out), or went to the doctor to talk about medication/counselling, or what I could do to help.
But he says he doesn't want to do any of those things - he doesn't like having to admit he may be depressed and he feels as though he needs to be the strong one to support me and my depression so he can't be depressed too. I said I can help him though, because I know what it feels like to feel worthless and that its a struggle to get through each day. He doesn't want to have a night out with just the two of us to try and have a nice time without the DCs to worry about. He doesn't want to try relationship counselling because he says he wants to sort himself out first.
So we didn't really resolve what to do next, but we established that we want to make it work, we both still love each other, we're both to blame for things being a bit crap, and we both feel depressed!
So we went to bed feeling slightly better that at least we'd talked, but today I just can't stop crying. I can't see a way out of it. I don't think I'm strong enough to help DP out of his depression when I'm feeling like this. DP is at work and I am with the DCs - they're just been arguing (again!) and I completely lost it with them - yelled right in their faces the poor things. Little DD just looked at me and burst into tears. So now I feel even worse, I'm a crap parent, I can't stop crying and the problems with DP seem insurmountable at the minute.
Sorry for such a long post. Its helped to get it out of my system even if nobody reads it!