Seperating and freaking out about childcare arrangements

[LadyEatsCrispsALot]

Ok so I am seperating from stbxH and we have agreed the following:
2 DCs 4 and 6 will stay with him 3 nights a week and with me the rest.
I was happy with this but it's really hitting me now. I will not see my children every day. Any advice in coping with this. I am freaking out as I am not sure I can do this. They are my world of course. How on earth do people do it?? :(((((

I suppose that you get used to it :( If it's any consolation I imagine he will be feeling just the same.

The first few times you will need distraction.

You never do really get used to it, I'm afraid :-(
Keep busy. That's all you can do.

And, it probably doesn't feel like a worthwhile bonus now, but many parents, let alone single parents, would be extremely envious of 3 uninterupted nights' sleep, chance to go out without worrying about childcare, etc.

Is there an evening activity you could sign up for or something? Book club, swimming, evening class, poker night, karaoke () etc? Something which is for you, to make the most of the time away from the DCs and also to act as a distraction.

are they not his world too though??, he won't see them for 4 days...

does he work? could you not pick them up from school?
my ex doesn't often have our kids, when he does he often cancels! if I was you I would find your self a hobby, catch up with friends, and put your feet up..

I think I am more worried about the kids too. It's very confusing. I get the benefit of a few nights to myself. Lovely! But weird. But will DCs cope? Thanks for the replies x

The first week of shared custody was horrendous. I felt like a part of me had been amputated :( It felt so wrong that he could have a home which wasn't where I lived. It did get much better though and I started to enjoy the freedom to do more me things after the split. There are occasions where I miss him, but we do alternating nights usually so I don't have to go very long without him. My DS loves spending time with both of us and wouldn't have it any other way - I could never deprive him of spending 50% of his time with his daddy.

I really hated it to begin with too. All my froends were married and doing family things so I spent a lot of time alone. I joined lovefilm and hired old fashioned movies, bought lots of paperbacks and cheesy magazines. I also used to buy my favourite dinners then spend the time at home relaxing! I also made sure I went out each day to avoid cabin fever. How about a list of things you want to get done and tick them off. This approach worked for me and it soon became something I looked forward. I felt refreshed ready for the children again. Single parenting is tiring and this time helped me recharged. I'm now remarried with 2 more children and would love a day alone!!

Hth.

You need to look on it as a positive not a negative. As for the kids, they'll be fine.

You've gained a great deal of independence back. Make the most of it!

The crappy bit (for you both) is their young age. As they get older, they go their own way anyway and you become less of a parent and more of a hotelier!

Get yourself a hobby. A sport is even better. Getting yourself fit and learning a new skill is brilliant for occupying your mind, boosting your self-esteem and meeting new people. Are there any sports you used to play, or something you have always wanted a crack at? I have just taken up boxing and it is equally enjoyable and knackering!