Worried that my love for DH has been eclipsed by love for DS

[33goingon64]

i gather it's not entirely unusual to 'fall in love' with one's new baby. I certainly did, with a passion I haven't felt for DH or anyone before, because it's unconditional. I just worry that I do actually feel less for DH. There doesn't seem to be 'room' for him in my mind or heart.

Sex-wise, I still fancy him and we do manage sex once per week or so, although he always initiates it and I usually take a bit of persuasion. I don't always enjoy it but he is very attentive so I always end satisfied IYSWIM. I find kissing him too intimate, which I know hurts him.

We used to be at it like rabbits and I miss all that but don't seem to be able to relate to that time in my life anymore.

I suppose I'm just asking if this is normal.

Its totally normal to fall in love with your baby. Afterall you have carried the baby for nine months.baby needs your full attention and love at the moment and your h needs to take a back seat for a period of adjustment. he sounds like a very loving chap that will understand all that. how is the baby?
The passion you feel for your baby is a whole new level of love as you look down at a new baby you know it can,t take care of itself. so you do it all, your h can take care of hiself so I wouldn,t worry to much it,s all normal. Welcome to sleepness nights lol!!

You find kissing him too intimate? Yes, that's going to hurt him. Since when? How old is your baby?

The only thing I find maybe not "normal" is that you don't want to kiss your husband as it's too intimate - that seems to suggest deeper issues than just being a bit tired and overwhelmed with a new baby.

I think it is normal..or at least I felt the same after each of my (four) children.. it was like I switched of from being a partner and all my attention was on the children.

But normality does resume eventually, even if it is a different normality! I love my DH..he is my rock, partner and friend.. but my children are..well I don't know..they are everything in a way I can't even begin to describe!

I think sometimes you almost have to fake it.. I don't mean that in a bad way..but go through the motions of being the same partner you were before the baby arrived..and eventually you realise you are back to the same loving relationship you had before:):)

My children are older teens now and while i love my DH dearly, I admit that in the event of a catastrophe it would be my children I would try to rescue first.. I think that simply is what motherhood is about!

It took a long time for me to get back 'into' my dh after baby was born. I felt really torn by the feeling of being a mother and getting back to being a woman/sexuality. Got over though after the breasfeeding stopped..just give yourself some time and keep talking to you dh about it.

Thanks all. I definitely agree with the idea of faking it, as you say, just to get back into it. We have talked about it and DH is so understanding he even said the same thing - think yourself into that person again and it will eventually come. I have started back at work (part time) and I think that might help remind me of the person I used to be and remind me of the world outside being a mum.I just hope the kissing thing isn't something more ominous.

Are you breastfeeding? Sometimes that can put you right off sex?