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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I really want a sausage dog but DP doesn't

58 replies

whydontwehaveasharpknife · 16/02/2012 21:28

What can I do? Have any of you been in a similar scenario with pets?
I have always been a dog person but he is adamant that he doesn't want one, I've reassured him that I will take full responsibility and get him well trained but he wont budge.

OP posts:
ColourMePurple · 17/02/2012 19:40

Most, if not all pedigree dogs or prone to some kind of problems.

Why do you even care what he thinks? Is it that he pays all of the rent/mortgage on your home? Is it that he doesn?t trust you to take full responsibility?

If I want something and my partner disagrees ? I am going to get my way regardless, even if I am proved wrong in the long run (4 guinea pigs, just been re-homed). That?s just how our relationship works.

I can?t even imagine being told no to something I truly desire; it?s like being 15 again.

Ask him to give you a good enough reason as to why he doesn't think that a dog or (sausage dog) in particular is not a good idea. I wouldn't be happy with just no.

balotelli · 17/02/2012 20:20

if you must get a dog, do to the rescue centre and get an unwanted mongrel. Though if you want to waste £500 on a puppy that wont be socialised, that you wont get trained or neutered then go ahead.

Bunbaker · 17/02/2012 20:21

Blimey Colour. Does the phrase "consideration for other people" not exist in your life? Just going ahead and doing something regardless of other people's feelings is a tad selfish don't you think?

If you share a house with someone else, of course you have to take their feelings into account. That is what a relationship is all about.

WetTheMogwai · 17/02/2012 20:33

omg I nearly weed on the floor at 'schnitzel von krum' never mind the dog!

bay king charles' skulls are massively deformed, bred to be so tiny and 'cute' that theyre not actualy big enough to fit the brain in which obviously has awful effects on them. they are beautiful dogs though

I seriously want a sausage dog! he shall be called Tyrone and will be a long haired chap but shaved all over just leaving a blonde quiff like the one i saw the other day Grin

ColourMePurple · 17/02/2012 20:34

She is not asking for a baby, shes not asking to whore herself out, shes not asking for implants. She asking for a dog. To say no to someone without even a discussion is already the basis of a bad relationship. If one truly desires something the other does not, then obviously, someone has to make a sacrifice.

I am saying that in MY relationship I don't generally make those sacrifices - because I am happy to be proved wrong. It is not about being selfish or not taking consideration for other people feelings. (I heard you say no - but I still want what I want). Simple.

Maybe he should take her feelings into consideration because to deny a grown adult of anything reasonable IS being selfish and as I said before, she should -

[Ask him to give her a good enough reason as to why he doesn't think that a dog or (sausage dog) in particular is not a good idea. I wouldn't be happy with just no.]

ColourMePurple · 17/02/2012 20:42

He wouldn't have a say in the matter, if when he met her, she already had a dog... Its not unusual to own a dog you know.

Bunbaker · 17/02/2012 20:42

But IMO if you don't want a dog, being overriden is unreasonable. Not everyone likes dogs you know. I wouldn't want a dog in my house under any circumstances.

HaveYouTakenLeaveOfYourCervix · 17/02/2012 21:03

ANd that, my firiends, is why this thread should be in The Doghouse and not Relationships.
Wine

Labradorlover · 17/02/2012 21:09

ColourMePurple, so she gets the dog. Dog shits everywhere, chews things, is a challenge to train ( and if everyone in the house is not reinforcing the training, it will take forever ). Arguments follow. What then?
All good rescues check that everyone in the household is up for a dog because of the high probability of a dog being returned where that isn't the case.
A dog isn't a breast implant. It's much more interactive........
If the OP loves dogs and wants one and her partner hates them perhaps the relationship isn't meant to be.

higamoushogamous · 17/02/2012 21:16

We had a dachshund many years ago, from Bristol dogs home, he was so lovely. He did have back problems though and eventually after very expensive surgery failed had to be PTS aged 9 - that is the reason we have never had another. P.S. no problems with housetraining, he was very clean.

GoingForGoalWeight · 17/02/2012 21:28

Imagine if a DH had written Colour's post? DW has no say in the matter ..More fool your DH, for putting up with your bossiness., if you think that is being assertive not aggressive, think again. Hmm

lou33 · 17/02/2012 22:12

I have a springer spaniel, a patterjack, and a sausage dog (although he is not technically mine, but the dog of my bf and his ex wife, they both agreed Boris would be better off living with me so asked me to have him full time).

He is a long haired miniature sausage and nearly 5, and honestly is a really sweet natured, well behaved, extremely affectionate dog.

I did laugh at the earlier comment about them not liking to go outside to poo if it is raining, wanting your dinner and your bed , because that is so true. He will try and avoid getting his paws wet, but I just shuffle him outside with the others when they do their business. There have been very few times he has done it inside, and that has been early on when he was not sure where he was meant to go as it was a new environment.

He definitely thought he was human when I first met him, but I think that was really down to how he had been looked after by my bf and his ex w , as they used to give him the same food they had, like lasagne, scrambled eggs, chicken breast etc. Now he eats the same kibble my dogs do without a second thought, though it has taken a while of weaning him onto it, and he is now the right weight for his breed (he was a bit too heavy), though he will try and beg for anything we eat, but I think that is typical of all dogs.

He is quite territorial of the house and the car, in so much as if anyone knocks or walks by the car, he will start yapping, but if I pick him up so he can check them over to give his approval, he is then fine.

He is a bit snooty with people and dogs if he doesnt know them though, but once he does he is just one of the gang. The first time I met him, he was in my bf's van, and he barked as I walked up to it, then as I got in he walked over the seats to my bf, sat on his lap and turned his back on me like I was not worthy lol. Ten minutes later he was rolling on his back letting me scratch his tummy and now he is like my shadow.

I think sausage dogs have a tendency to bond v closely to a few people and everyone else is just allowed to be in their breathing space. He worships myself, my bf, his ex wife and her bf, he is very happy to play with my kids and v good and sweet with them, but not to the same extent, and everyone else is irrelevent :) . And he was a bit of a snoot when he was introduced to the other dogs but they are all firm friends now, which is lovely to see.

You do have to be careful wrt their backs, they shouldnt really run up and down stairs or on and off beds/ sofas etc, and you have to be very strict with their diet, as even a small amount of being overweight can cause issues (I live in a bungalow though, and have quite a low bed). He can switch between being a complete couch potato, snoozing for ages, and dashing about like a mad thing, running about with the other dogs, and considering how little his legs are he can keep up surprisingly well!

Given any opportunity he will sneak into bed with me, he likes to bury himself right under the duvet and curl up against my stomach, but he is getting better at sleeping on the floor over time. He was definitely a pampered prince, but a well behaved one, so all I am doing is trying to break the bad habits he was allowed to have in the past a bit at a time.

I really do not think he is any more hard work than any other dog tbh, well not compared to my other two. They all have their funny little traits, my springer is obsessed with balls, lives breathes and dreams them, will even go to sleep with one in her mouth or under her paw. My patterjack is the same about chasing lights, if the sun reflects off my watch onto a wall for example, he will keep running at the wall trying to bite it, and he has a thing about watching the telly until he sees a dog or a horse, then he will growl and bark, then act like he is telling himself off and leave the room grumbling, lol.

Boris' thing is always having to be in touching distance of me, to the point that if i lie on the sofa or the bed, he will climb onto my stomach and sit there just looking at me, until either I get up and move, or he falls asleep.

He does not do well being left alone for long though, but I am not sure if that is how he is, or if it is a trait of the breed. That was the deciding factor as to why I am now looking after him full time, as I am at home, and if i do go out and am not able to take him along, I am never usually gone for more than an hour. When I do have to leave him at home, he still has the company of the other dogs too, so he does not get anxious and howl like he used to (my bf's exw had to leave him from 6.30 am - 3pm monday to friday to work and he hated it ).

Sorry for the massive post, I am sure most of it is just rambling and irrelevent, but hopefully it gives some insight about life with a sausage dog.

2rebecca · 17/02/2012 22:16

I don't want a dog or cat and if my husband went out and bought one it would be akin to suddenly adopting a child without my consent to me. Can't you do voluntary work in a dog pound or something?

GrimmaTheNome · 17/02/2012 22:30

First, I'm going to say - if your DP really doesn't want a dog, you shouldn't get one.

Secondly - dachshunds are lovely dogs. I've got a standard shorthaired black&tan sleeping peacefully on my lap right now. He's our second. No back problems in 17 years of sausage ownership (plus the one DH had as a boy). A dachshund can climb a Lake District mountain easily but won't fuss if he doesn't get a long walk every day. Ours is housetrained (apart from a strange lapse when we put up the xmas tree!) - no harder to train than any other dog IMO just that people don't always bother to train small comedy dogs very well.

He hardly sheds or smells. (DD sheds more TBH Grin).
He - and his predecessor - are not one-person dogs.

We got this one when he was 10 months old - from the breeder but he needed a pet home. A 'semi rescue' - housetrained and socialised with dogs and people.

ColourMePurple · 17/02/2012 22:37

Going how judgmental a person you must be to imply DH to be a fool and me to be bossy. My OH does/ acquire things that I am not particularly keen on (as with most peoples OH), but who am I to tell him no (unless I believe its detrimental in someway). Obviously not a lot of dog lovers here. Nobody and nobody's partner is perfect and if your not prepared to deal with something you don't like in a relationship - You shouldn't be in one. I believe in taking a stand for the things I want/ believe in, just like my opinion, which a few of you seem to be so offended by. My relationship with my OH is a colorful, joyful relationship - we allow each other to be who we are without judgment. We express ourselves through our desires and we respect them, even when it doesn't float our boat.

Labrador "Dog shits everywhere, chews things, is a challenge to train - arguments follow" - you should loosen up a little. A dog is not the hardest thing in ones life to deal with and by your name you should know better than anyone that they can bring a lot of joy and happiness to people and complete a family.

GoingForGoalWeight · 17/02/2012 23:55

How judgy of you to deem me as being totally judgemental about all and everything .. yawn...

lou33 · 18/02/2012 00:29

Grimma, my bf and his now exw got their sausage in similar circumstances. He was 7months old and still with the breeder (who mainly bred shar peis), because of being let down. They were relocating to Scotland from Norfolk, and were seriously considering keeping him as a family pet, but advertised him one last time, which is when my bf took him. He was socialised and brought up playing with the family shar pei's. They had been calling him Sausage :) .

makemineamerlot · 18/02/2012 07:48

I think the OP needs to do some serious research about the pros and cons of dog-ownership and the puppy v rescue issue. Just the fact that she calls a dachshund a 'sausage dog' troubles me. Any dog is a living being that requires care for years, it's not an accessory like a new handbag.
If you get a dog when your DP is against the idea I guarantee the poor thing (dog not DP) will end up in rescue.
OP you need to grow up.

whydontwehaveasharpknife · 18/02/2012 08:08

Thanks everyone I think Im going to reconsider esp considering the poor wee thing's back problems and propensity to shit inside! Thanks for all your funny comments

OP posts:
whydontwehaveasharpknife · 18/02/2012 08:08

ps it was always going to be called schnitzel Von Krum!

OP posts:
ameliagrey · 18/02/2012 08:13

I don't think the breed is relevant. having a dog is a bit like having a child- they take time, money, need caring for if you go out for a day or on holiday, and years of commitment.

If one person in the relationship is not committed to the idea, then the other one should not go ahead. it's not fair on the animal.

Bunbaker · 18/02/2012 12:22

Exactly, Amelia.

ameliagrey · 18/02/2012 14:33

Thank you Smile

OP when you think on, pay special atention to thoughts about recuse sogs- they used to belong to people who thought they wanted them.

I don't have a dog. Sometimes I'd like one - andmy kids used to badger me non stop to get one.

But I have 3 good friends and a brother with dogs.

I know how it is impossible to live any kind of life with a dog unless you are 100% committed to its welfare- and as a couple that should mean both of you.

You cannot leave a dog in thehouse alone for 12 hrs a day if you fancy going out for the day. Oh yes, people do, but it's not good for the dog. You also have to think about holidays, when you are too ill to walk them, when it's freezing outside, when they are sick etc etc.

A dog is a HUGE commitment if you are going to cre for it properly and if your partner says no, you would find it very very hard.

ameliagrey · 18/02/2012 14:33

rescue dogs
sorry- crap typing.

jalopy · 18/02/2012 19:41

Perfect draught excluder.

Any help?

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