Difficult relationships with in laws!

[clare458]

I don't really get on particularly well with my mil or 2 sil's. I have a great relationship with my bil and his wife. We do visit for the sake of our kids but I really, really hate it. The dh and partner of my sil's never ever go to get togethers, which usually take place at mil's house.

Sometimes my dh doesn't go and quite often I take my dc alone. Whenever I try to discuss it with my dh he denies anything is wrong. It has now got to the point where I want to tell my dh to go with the kids and I'll stay at home.

Would this be mean?

I don't see why you're doing the duty-visits to his parents while he doesn't bother. It's beyond the call, imo. If he wasn't going, I wouldn't (unless it was an important occasion and he had an extremely good reason for not being able to go).

I don't think it's mean particularly to tell him to go without you.

I'd only attend important events (unless you want to go no-contact with them because they're really awful) and let him do the rest.

I'm with koda. If your husband stays away, and you hate spending time with your in-laws, why force it?

How is it good for your children to see people that neither of their parents can stand, just for propriety's sake?

If neither of you can stand them, and nor can your sil's partners by the sound of it, it's got to be for a good reason.

Well, if anyone is going to go, then it either needs to be both of you, or he goes alone, or you take it in turns to go alone. But absolutely not just you alone! That's not fair.

When you say "for the sake of the kids" - do you mean that your children really want to go, and have a good relationship with their granny and aunts? Or that you feel children ought to be taken to be viewed by their relatives? Because if it's the latter, don't bother going at all.

Personally if my DH wasn't visiting his family, I would not be going in his place. The way I see it, they aren't my family. I married him, not the rest of them.

It is reasonable for him to take the children alone, thats when I get my free time!