My db has a dd who none of us, including him, were aware about until a couple of years ago. Everyone has tried to welcome her into the family. I am sad to say that she is not a very nice person, has accused men of sexual assault, pinched from my mum and dad, drug taking...Her own mum was/is the same so we have tried very hard to include her in family gatherings etc, to try to show her what it means to be part of a family.
She had a child alone and again everyone supported her, and I am the only one in the family who has been quite honest with her when she has been out of line, not small stuff, talking about racist remarks, drug taking etc.
A few weeks ago she had a birthday party for her ds and invited all the children (including my ds's). 3 days before the party, she informed me via my sister that my ds's could only come to the party if we paid for ourselves...ok I thought, that's fine, it then turns out that no other family member had been asked to pay for their children, which family members were aware.
I didn't go the the party on principle, and feel incredibly let down by my own family, who all went and not one of them said anything to her regarding the exclusion of my ds's. I am very upset over this, I appreciate it may seem trivial, but I'm very sad that my family happily condoned her actions and have not given me or more importantly my ds's a second thought.
I don't know whether I should keep the peace and say nothing, or be my usual self and confront them all. It would be great to hear some views on this.