If you had broken up with someon, changed your number and asked for no contact.....

[Charliefarlie1192]

and they sent you a heartfelt letter apolgising and begging to see you, what would you do?

excuse my spelling errors!!

tear it up and get on with my life most likely

why did you split up?

Ignore it. There's good reason you've gone to the extreme not to speak with them.

Agree, tear it up and ignore it.

don't know.

• how long since the split
• why did you split
• why do you want no contact
• are there any children and if so are they having contact

lots of questions

if no children, and no reason for the split other than the relationship being over for the person making the split, the split having been discussed (rather than just disappearing), then - I would probably tear it up and forget about it.

Bin the letter. Unless you are frightened of the person, in which case keep the letter so you can report it to the police if the behaviour escalates.
Remember the person is in the wrong even if s/he is apologising, because you have instructed this person not to contact you.

I emailed my stalker instructing him not to make any further attempts to contact me; some months later he did send an apology (of sorts) via email. I decided not to report the apology as that would have been a touch petty, but I didn't respond to it either.

What does the letter change? I would take it as a sign that he still doesn't understand that you don't want to hear from him...

Some things to consider:

How has the letter made you feel? Do you feel it's a genuine apology or a way to re-establish contact and get an 'in'?

You might also want to ask yourself, is the author of the letter someone who has problems understanding the word 'no', does he/she have a history of disrespecting your opinions/requests?

Remember that you don't owe the person anything. You are not in any way obliged to interact with someone you want rid of.

Sometimes people who have been a total PITA due to (for instance) drink and drug addiction are advised to apologise to those they have harmed as part of their recovery. That still doesn't mean you are under any obligation to renew contact with the person. His/her recovery is his/her problem, not yours. Repeated attempts to contact you show that the person is still a PITA and still selfish, so they should be dealt with by means of official warnings and/or restraining orders if necessary.

If this person is a boyfriend you binned due to violence, controlling behaviour or just for being tedious, he might well not mean his apology in the least. It's always better NOT to give an unsatisfactory man the benefit of the doubt. If he had changed for the better, you might miss out on a shag or two, but there are other men out there who are also good shags, good company and don't have a past history of mistreating you. If you are wrong and the apology turns out to be game-playing or pure bullshit or desperation (bloke wants a shag/someone to cook and clean for him and the last few OW have binned him already) you have let yourself in for misery, tedium, and having to get rid of him all over again.

I'd be pissed off. The guy would still be ignoring my wishes, when I'd made it crystal clear I wanted no more contact with him.

There must have been a reason you went so far as to change your number and tell him no more contact. If it had been an apology on its own, then maybe you could be relieved, but the begging to see you again means he's still hasn't got the message. He still doesn't want to respect your boundaries.

I would consider it a test to see if I was a pushover or someone whose wishes they respected.

It's really a contradiction isn't is? Saying sorry for for what they did involves running roughshod over your explicit instructions to never contact you again -- this person isn't sorry, imo.

I missed the bit about begging for renewed contact. Someone making a sincere apology for bad behaviour would acknowledge that you are under no obligation to forgive them or give them another chance and would be clear that they simply wish to apologise for what they did.
This just sounds like someone who thinks his/her wishes override yours, so don't respond, stick it in a safe place in case there is any further contact and if there is, consider asking the police to instruct the person to cease and desist.

Changing your number is pretty extreme. It suggests that no contact was the only option.