Stupid small problem.

[Bobits]

Hi, just wondered what anyone elso would do?

My exdp gave me £100 for my birthday in a card from our 6 month old daughter.

Should I
a) give it back (as it it a bit excessive, I don't want him to think I should feel indebted to him and when we split 4 months ago - the pluses for him he said were he would have more money and time to play video games and I don't want to aliviate any guilt he may have now).

b) accept it (so not to stir things or dent his ego - that may affect our daughter.)

c) stop overthinking and chill out :)

I may add I have a nearly 6 year old from a previous relationship. About 3 and a half weeks after our split - he yelled at him 'you want me give you something to cry about' and grabbed him by the neck. I have not allowed him to see him since as I feel he cannot control himself. The break up might have been hard for my ex but it has been harder for my DS. This might seem irrelevant but I think this says alot about my ex's selfish character - ant his motives.

Many thanks

c and put it in a bank account for her.

Keep it, open a young saver's account in your DD's name and stick it in there.

Or spend it on whatever you need for her at the moment.

But don't overthink it. He may be a twat, but the money isn't tainted by his twattishness.

So he gave it to you, not her?

I'd blow it on something utterly selfish and frivolous. He's paying her maintenance, presumably?

Thanks :) Had thought about the account idea - I've a childrens investment plan for her I would put it in.

It was for my birthday not hers and he is paying maintainence.
I have 100% access as am still Bf-ing her - so maybe it's just a big thankyou.
Though he has seemed to be the sort not to just do nice things without expecting something in return.

Thanks for the opinions, much appreciated.

Well, if you take it, only do so if you won't feel indebted to him. It is a present he gave freely, that you didn't ask for. So you could enjoy it.

That said, if you feel he will see it as buying you back in some way and you feel compromised by accepting it, then give it back, (and if he refuses, tell him you're passing it on to your dd for savings). It may be more important to feel strong than to have the temporary relief or fun of the money. Depends how the money makes you feel.

Oh I read that wrong... he gave it to you from her... not to her in a card handed to you. oops. In that case I would give it back. I refused any money from ex.

I think I would keep it and spend it. Though I might hang onto it for a little while just in case he tried to use it against me.....

Thankyou koda
I've looked after our daughter alone since she was 2 months - so I won't feel indebted to him.
There will be no buying me back so I won't feel compromised.
His feelings on the matter are irrelevant.
That makes it a bit clearer for me.

With the 2 wee ones, the days of selfish and frivoulous are long gone :)

Has anyone else recieved £100 in a card from their children for their birthday???

I would have though a best mum teddy would have sufficed :o