Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Embarrasing partners

14 replies

NoraBatty · 24/01/2006 20:00

My partner constantly embarrases me in front of others, I used to laugh along at the daft things he did and said but now I actually dread going anywhere with him. When we go to the cinema he laughs louder than everyone else (even when it isnt a comedy, the last one was a horror film and he was the ONLY one laughing!), he screams and makes daft noises when anything happens like "ooooo" when someone is hit in the film or "whoa...whoa..." if someone is falling etc. It probably sounds funny to anyone reading this but I realy do find it embarrasing. We always end up being the couple that everyone turns around to look at and I can see them whispering to each other about it and taking the mick.

Another example is when we're in the supermarket, he'll drop and smash things by messing around (like last time he pretended to throw a jar and dropped it) and he says stupid stuff to the people that work there (like the last time we bought some condoms he asked the woman on the till if she could recommend them!?!). Last time we were in toys' r us he threw something at me and then darted down the ailses running away howling and hiding behind sheves, he even started grabbing things off the shelves and holding them in front of him as if they were shields...he was acting as if we were having a playfight...promptly running into an old man and almost knocking him over. Last sunday we were in a packed lift and a woman happened to mention to her friend that she hated lifts...he then began jumping up and down making it shake all over, I felt so stupid and she was not very impressed either.

I honestly dont think he realises how daft he looks half the time, Ive seen shop keepers turn around and start taking the mick out of him as we leave a shop, the first time I took him to meet my mum he stretched and knocked the lightshade down and then broke it altogether in a hurry to put it back up .

Do any of you have partners like this? I want to say something to him but like I said, I dont think he realises he's doing it!

OP posts:
starlover · 24/01/2006 20:04

sorry, i am pmsl!!!
seriously though can see why you are embarassed!
maybe you could try and do stuff like, when you're in a film and he's making noises just say "shhhh, im trying to watch"

tbh if dp messes around while we're out i just pretend i am not with him! lol or tell him to stop it!

Moomin · 24/01/2006 20:08

oh no poor you
I'm cringeing for you!
sounds to me like he's so used to using this kind of behaviour as some kind of defence mechanism that he doesn't actually know he's doing it now - or indeed what it looks like to others.
any idea why he's like this? was he like this when you met him? what's his relationship with his parents like? do they treat him like a child - he certainly behaves a bit like one! he sounds very like some of the adolescent boys i teach who are very gawky and silly in company. sorry!

NoraBatty · 24/01/2006 20:10

lol alot of people think he does it for attention (which he certainly gets!) but I dont think he does, he's exactly the same at home. If we're watching tv and something 'painful' comes on he'll start squirming around on the couch making 'oooo' noises and if it stays on long enough he'll end up actually curled on the sofa like a baby burying his head into me!! (which actually hurts!).

He even screams and shouts at cartoons and once we were watching a film with a couple of friends, one that he has seen 'a few' times before and he actually started reciting the script...saying ever characters lines before they did through almost the entire film!!! he only stopped when my friend got up and said she couldnt 'get into it' and again I noticed the smirks going on between her and my other friend so I know what they were thinking.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 24/01/2006 20:11

he sounds a little like someone on the autistic spectrum

not that I know anything about that

actually he sounds like my first husband

Perhaps he's YOUR first husband?

Lacrimosa · 24/01/2006 20:13

Would you be up for a whol;e day of doing the same to him? Let him see how embarrasing it is? personally dp and i do it we are big kids! oru kids are embarrased of us! tee hee [gri] we make loud noises at a scrary film just before the jumping moment its great fun to see everyone spill their pop[corn x

meggmoo · 24/01/2006 20:13

Aww Nora he sounds a bit awkward. It seems like he's using this behaviour to disguise perhaps shyness. How does he react if you tell him to tone it down? Maybe he likes that you get embarrassed?

My dh is really OTT but I love it(mostly). I have to tell him to calm it down sometimes but he really is the life and soul and I have learned to live with it.
The man was a legend down at the NCT classes a couple of years ago.

Miaou · 24/01/2006 20:13

Nora, you could be married to my ex-boyfriend! It was part of the reason why we broke up - it was like he was constantly acting like he was in a sitcom or performing to an audience. I found it wearing and embarrassing. In so many other ways he was a lovely guy, really intelligent, artistic and articulate, but I couldn't deal with the immature play-acting. I tried ignoring it, in the end I got really angry and told him he was pathetic - at which he was (perhaps understandably) very hurt - after all, it was a part of him and I knew it when we met.

I'm sorry, I really wish I had some advice for you Nora, not really sure why I'm posting, except to say that I have been there and I really feel for you!

Angeliz · 24/01/2006 20:14

sorry but i'm with starlover, i actually have tears running down my face with laughter!!
I would do as she says too, just tell him you are not finding it funny and he's embarrassing you. Although if he does it all the time it sounds like that is just him!!

Moomin · 24/01/2006 20:16

he sounds like that character on the fast show - colin hunt. do you know who i mean?

jalopy · 24/01/2006 20:42

Nora, forgive me for saying this but he sounds really immature. Surely you knew what he was like before you settled down with him? I would find his behaviour intolerable. He seems to lack judgement or has no awareness of how daft he is. Morningpaper could be right.

ThePrisoner · 25/01/2006 01:53

My lovely brother behaves like this - when I tell friends what he does, we all have a jolly good laugh about it, but it's not really very funny when you're with him.

He's the sort that waves madly and jumps around at shop CCTV cameras. He also stood behind someone preaching in the high street one Saturday morning and shouted "boo" at him.

Yes, it's funny to recount but not to be there with him. I would hate to be married to him (and no, he's not married - wonder why).

Twiglett · 25/01/2006 07:45

have you never said anything to him?

I am surprised

it is obviously so ingrained it will be difficult for him to not do it now

but you have to say something to him otherwise there's no honesty in your relationship

LoveMyGirls · 25/01/2006 08:26

was he like this before you married him? just wondered if its one of those things you found funny to start with? when do you think it started?

cathyspam · 25/01/2006 08:54

OMG Nora! Are we married to the same man? Only difference is I have given up being embarrased because there is no hope for him! His name is Peter and I call him Peter Pan!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread