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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why oh why do I expect more of exp re ds?? I should know better by now.

5 replies

ballroomblitz · 12/02/2012 11:56

Last week ds, 4yo, was admitted to hospital for a lower respiratory tract infection via the gp who told me to take him straight to A and E. That whole day exp didn't call up to see him (despite the fact it is his day to take him), bemoaning the fact he has no car atm - the hospital has regular train, bus and link services.

He takes the rest of the week off work (some sort of paid leave) because of ds being sick. Next day after ds being admitted exp calls up for 3 hours after borrowing a friend's car, day after 2 hours. It's the first chance at 12pm- 1pm I'm getting a chance to grab a bite to eat and have a quick shower in the hospital.

The following day he doesn't call up at at all as he knows ds is getting discharged at some stage that day. It's his normal night for taking him (the day he is discharged) but he doesn't mention it only saying he will call down to my house to see him. He doesn't. That was two days ago and the only contact he has had is to ring last night, ask how ds is and moan he's getting the cold.

I am soo peeved off with exp. If it was me regardless of whatever days/nights I'm meant to take ds I would move hell and high water to see him in hospital. I would share staying with ds instead of leaving it up to one parent to do it.

I am wrecked myself after trying to sleep on a non-reclining chair for 3 nights and staying with ds 24/7 in a noisy ward, have started to catch whatever was going and spent an absolute fortune staying in the hospital.

I don't know why I ever expect anything different from him. It wasn't too much to ask for a bit of support was it?? Every time he manages to disappoint me with his selfish behaviour :( It upsets me that the basics of parenting seem to be enough for him to do.

OP posts:
chocoraisin · 12/02/2012 12:02

:( what a horrible stressful week for you, I don't know what to say other than good for you - that you have been a wonderful mummy and thank god your DS has you there for him at such a scary time. Issues with XP aside, be proud of yourself! I'm sure that in your shoes I would be the same - totally peed off but still doing the right thing. When your DS is older he will start to remember things like this, and while he will still love his daddy, it won't be the same as his relationship with you; because he will know who he can rely on when he needs to. I really hope he's on the mend and you get a good nights sleep very soon!

chocoraisin · 12/02/2012 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kodachrome · 12/02/2012 12:36

It wasn't too much to ask - except your ex is a useless asshole.

I'm so sorry you've been through such a tough week with your little boy - I'm glad he's better.

ballroomblitz · 12/02/2012 13:18

Ohh I just wanted a mini rant. Feeling a bit glum about it today. Not helped I suppose by feeling exhausted, generally crappy with some sort of viral thing and pregnant on top of it all (thankfully nothing to do with ex-p but my fiance).

I just feel for ds. He doesn't realise how much ex-p lets him down - yet. He is very much a fair-weather father but ds adores him and I would never say or do anything to change that.

Thanks chocoraisin that's a lovely thing to say but I don't think I've done anything different from what any normal parent would do seeing their 'baby' hooked up to monitors and oxygen. He is getting there kodachrome. Still on all sorts of meds but being cheeky again so must be feeling better :)

OP posts:
neuroticmumof3 · 12/02/2012 16:36

A friend of mine is going through a similar situation atm. Her exp is being worse than useless, blaming her for dd being ill, came to hospital, started a row then left. So you're not alone. Thank goodness for decent mums.

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