Abusive relationship, separating. Can he do this??

[separated]

I have posted a few threads over the last few weeks.
Essentially, he told me that it was over, at Xmas.
It took a while to accept despite his abuse as I still wasn't ready to admit that I am better off without him.
He is very controlling but he has lost a significant amount of his power over me since my friends have begun to reprogramme me and I have seen him for what he really is!!
Anyway, the house has to be sold as neither of us can afford to finance it without the other one's salary. So he contacted some estate agents. And he chose the one he wanted. And he arranged for pictures to be taken on one of his sickies from work last week. And he signed the estate agent's documents. And they are phoning him to arrange viewings. The common theme? It's all under his control. I assumed (wrongly??) that they would need both of our signatures and that communication would be to both/either of us (we are both currently in the property but they are only contacting him on his mobile).

So, am I wrong?
Can all of this be done through just him?
Should I be making a bit of a fuss or concentrating on the bigger picture.
I am feeling pretty angry right now but I'm unsure if it's justified.

What cheeses me off is that I had no idea that the pictures were due to be taken and, although the house looks reasonable, the photos aren't great. And you only get one chance at a first impression. Also, he's controlled everything for far too long and I've finally seen red.

Any advice most gratefully received please. Not trying to do this by stealth so apologies if I haven't given enough details.
I do want to sell and be away from him but I feel undermined.

Op, if that was the case, then you need to look into what conditioned you to behave in such a way, it's not an easy journey.

My then BF (now ex DH!) was more pissed off than me about it. I do believe that he didnt know about it. Perhaps because your OH had engaged the solicitor they assumed that he was the one buying? Although in our case, the mortgage was just in my exes name, if yours was joint then yes, he probably did discuss it beforehand :(

The mortgage for that house was just in his name. I don't believe for one moment that they didn't know the solicitor was going to ask for the form to be filled in.

separated You must get a solicitor. Never mind about whether you can afford it right now, you need someone looking after your interests. Believe me, there will be an awful lot of negotiation to come.

Here are some useful links to start your research. The better informed you are, the more preparation you can do - which can help to keep your costs down:

www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_family/family_index_ew/ending_a_marriage.htm

www.maypole.org.uk/who-else-can-help.htm

www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/pdfs/Legal/divorce_2010.pdf

www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/pdfs/financial_arrangements_mb_2010.pdf

In the meantime, make a list of all your financial commitments, joint and individual. Get copies of whatever financial documents you can find.

No, he cannot sell the house without your agreement - but there are many more issues you need to think about.

You need to inform the estate agents that it is a sale of separation - best to put something in writing so that you are covered legally if anything goes wrong and they end up giving all the proceeds to your H. Also tell them you need to agree to the sale price too.

As far as I'm aware you don't need separate conveyancing solicitors (I didn't) but you will need to agree how the proceeds are split and write a letter to your conveyancing solicitor outlining this and you both need to sign it. This ensures that the proceeds can be split between you as soon as the money arrives at the solicitors. But, if you are not in agreement about how to split the money you will need to consult your own solicitor to hammer out the terms and it may take longer to see any money. So depends if you want a quick split or want to wait to get what is "fairer". If you can't agree the solicitor holds on to the funds until you can.

In my situation we agreed to split everything 50:50 and signed a letter to our conveyancing solicitor agreeing to this. It may not have been the fairest split but I couldn't be arsed fighting over what would have only ended up a small amount of money which might have been spent on solicitor's fees and wanted to get everything sorted out as quickly as possible.

I didn't get a divorce at the same time though so if you are doing so you will definitely need your own solicitor.

Whatever you do, you need to do something so he doesn't end up claiming all the proceeds for himself, leaving you saddled with all the debt.