Are you last in the 'pecking order?'

[oliveoil]

In my house it goes:

dd2 (17mths) as she is the youngest and therefore not able to do much
dd1 (3 years)
dh
Then me.

But some days I don't think I am even on the list.

Am sick of considering everyone else but myself.

Do you ever put yourself first and think sod everyone else?

Yes.

for an easy life,
dd (19 mths)
ds (3 3/4)
me

however I am the boss and if I want to do something I will !!

Yes. Even the cat comes before me.

Oh I meant "yes" as in "yes I do sometimes put myself first and think sod everyone else" because f I didn't, no-one else would for me.

What sort of response do you get LM?

I get sulks so it is best not to bother sometimes.

They wouldn't dare sulk OO! I am not a woman to sulk with!

I don't do it often, but sometimes I have just had enough and I stay in bed in the morning or go to bed before the children, and dh has to get on with it, and the children have to stay away from me.

Other times, I put myself first when no-one is in the house to say otherwise. EG, instead of doing all the jobs that are constantly there to do, I sometimes sit back and watch a DVD all afternoon (and still moan to dh that I am knackered and have been at it all day when he comes home!)

If no-one else is going to treat you, you have to treat yourslef sometimes!

I cna't leave all the jobs, though I'd love to do what Lm does! I get out of the house instead. I was getting fed up with lookign after everyone else so buggered off out sat aft and got my nails and hair done. Was very therapeutic!

Oooh yes Kelly, getting out of the house is even better. I went to the cinema on my own before Christmas and promised myself all last week whilst dh was away that when he came back, I would go again on Saturday, but in the end I didn't. Hey, guess what? he is away again this week so maybe this Saturday I will finally go again.

yes.

tho dh is very good and i get nearly all the lie ins, I make a point of going to the gym at least 3 x a week. Thats me time, for me , so that I feel good about myself.

Dh never complains !

Lonelymum, respect.

I try to ring-fence some time (just to swim, mainly, but I like swimming!) where they have to fit in. And I get some lie-ins.

I have never, ever had a lie-in while sleeping in the same house as my children. ie the only time has been the rare occasions when they have been to stay at grandparents, or even rarer occasions when I have stayed away without them. I could count both on my fingers.

Been thinking about this thread all pm as I have gone from one phrenetic job for the kids to another: hearing dd read, ironing, getting in washing, making ds1 do homework and recorder practice, making ds2 learn spellings and do recorder and violin practice, cooking dinner, taking ds3 to loo, laying and lighting a fire, putting ironing away, washing up, feeding cats, cleaning up after cats, the list goes on and on and on.

You surely have to put yourself first sometimes, just to make yourself feel human?

oh thats so sad bozza and any other mums that dont treat themselves, men dont think twice about going out so i odnt see why we should deprive ourselves, my dp actually encourages me to go out and enjoy myself. infact i've been moaning about my weight so he's said i need to exercise if i want to do anything about it so he's going to run the house n kids while i go swimming three nights a week - he's a star!! (btw im a sahm and he works FT)

I think I am. DH thinks he is.

Me and dh take it in turns to be last iyswim. he goes out 3 nights a week but I go out once a week which is how i like it. At the weekends sometimes I look after ds so he can do his own thing and vice versa. I go away for weekends with the girls and he goes for weekends with the boys. It's all about give and take. It can be hard sometimes though. We try and take it in turns to have lie-ins at the weekends too.

Hmmm. I think I'm last.

Ds3 first (still in nappies etc)
Ds2 and ds3 about equal
Dh
Me

Dh is great I have to say but it's rare that I get any time to myself when I'm not working, looking after children or doing housework. I have literally not stopped today - in my 'spare time' I took ds3 for passport photos, went to butchers, cleaned all the kitchen cupboard fronts, did a load of clothes washing - the rest of the time I was either working (I'm a freelancer) or looking after kids/cooking/bathing. Dh came in at 7pm and took over the kids but I'm working again now and will be till about 10pm. Then I might get 30 mins in front of the Tv with a brew then it's bed. It's like this everyday and it's a pile of crap.

I have to stress this is not really dh's fault - he is always trying to help me out and encourage me to go to my mum's for a break - it's just that there is always something needs doing - it's cos I work from home - if I didn't I feel my life would be a lot easier (however, I wouldn't have so much money to spend!). I cant' really moan - it's my own fault for never turning work down.

not always

I take myself far too seriously

Our is:

Ds1 (severely autistic- if he's not happy life is hell)
DS3 (baby)
DS2 (this is the one I worry about so trying to give him more time at the moment- hopefully as ds3 gets older they will be more equal)

Dh and me - we try to juggle it and be fair. He's given up a lot because of our family situation, so have I, but I think its equal.

Obviously if you asked DD1 she would claim she is - "you don't loooooooooooooove me! You treat me like a dog!" (this last when I'd told her to sit! in her car seat )

I'm somewhere below the 4 children, the dog, the cat and dh. I'd love a lie in but dh is in Tel Aviv this week so not practical. There is no one else to cook, do school runs (3 difft schools), entertain baby all day, support my terminally ill mother, do my essay for my postgrad course, do extra work with dyslexic son etc except me. Not moaning about my lot, just think it's important to be aware that even if husbands are there in spirit, lots of us are alone physically for a lot of the time. I know there are lots of mums on here with partners in the forces for example.