Am I expecting too much?

[cathkidstonbag]

Should a DH care about how his children treat their mother?

My 10 year old was incredibly disrespectful to me this evening to that extent that she made me cry (a rare occurrence!). I disciplined her for it (time out etc) and told DH when he got home. Not because it was his problem to deal with but maybe expecting he would be a bit cross with her and would back me up?

He wasn't interested at all, doesn't seem to care if our children have no respect for me. Is this the norm? Am I just expecting too much to have a DH who gives a t*ss how our children behave towards me (and they also have no respect for each other).

But if you had already disciplined her that should have been it?

Did you want him to punish her again?

No not punish her again. But if she had behaved like that to him I would have said to her she had upset him and that she needed to apologise to him. It would have upset me if she had been so mean and nasty to him that she had actually upset him. I would have been sad for him and would have made sure she understood that kind of behaviour wasn't acceptable.

I'm not talking about usual kids naughtiness, it was more a case of her telling me how much she hated me and the reasons why.

It's the same when the DCs are disrespectful to each other, it doesn't bother him but does me.

Our eldest is only 6 but if she was ever disrespectful to me, dh would speak to her about it.

Likewise if she is ever disrespectful or hurtful to dh, I would speak with dd.

I would appeal to her good nature rather than be authoritarian about it but yes - we both would care about this sort of thing.