Coffee date with Narc Mother - expecting a grilling. Please help

[PolkaDotsAndPumpkin]

My mother has definite narc tendencies. I have been trying to put a little distance between us, but am not going to go no contact.
However, she has decided that we need to 'have a coffee' tomorrow and I know that she is going to have a go at me about why I have been 'ignoring' her (her words to another family member, who warned me about this).
My problem is that I need to be able to contain the situation. Historically, when I try and be honest with her she twists it all around and gets hysterical and projects all over me. I absolutely cannot win.

Please suggest some things I can say to her when she asks me why I haven't been in touch much.

Any other suggestions about how to handle this are welcome. For the record I am in therapy but have been having a break over Christmas/New Year.

Thanks in advance

21 - You are so right.

OP good luck. And do please check out that site I recommended. hugs

Polka, how I remember that paralysis, that however 'sorted' you feel, you get drawn into the spider's web and its like any other sense of how life could be (different from Mum's perspective) is gone!

You have my sympathy! Good luck. Maybe saying a self-loving phrase to yourself under your breath?

Just remember: you didn't cause her, you can't control her and you can't cure her.

I'm no contact. I do feel guilty about it but life is less stressful.

I still feel like I am a bad person though, the programming hasnt gone away yet.

I still think I did the right thing.

So PDAP, What did you decide to do? Did you go?