Well if she has 3 kids and is still looking for a man there must really be something wrong with her.

[blacksheets]

said to me by a caring aunt about her workmate. I have 4 and am still looking for a man, does that mean there is something wrong with me? Am i going to be alone forever?

How can you ever be alone with four children?!

My brother once asked me what the appeal was of having children (he doesn't "do" children). I said that it was making friends in a very literal sense. And now they're big, my DCs are excellent company. A lot more use around the place than their arse of a father.

ps Are you sure your aunt's colleague is actually looking for a man, or does your aunt just think she ought to be?

I'm not following the logic here blacksheets...why must there be something wrong with a person in question?
Me thinks there are some assumptions which need to be made explicit!

With four DC, if you have the time and the energy to be actively looking for a man, I'm impressed! Any man would be lucky to have you.

I'm single and have been for five years. I much prefer it this way, but it is a natural human behaviour to want to pair up with someone. There's nothing wrong with you at all.

If it's loneliness you're feeling though, rather than the desire only to have a romantic relationship, it's worth thinking about what else you can do to fill the gap. Developing better friendships, taking up hobbies, doing something voluntary - all these things can make a very fulfilling life that leaves no room for loneliness. The more rounded your life and the happier you are, the better the chances of you meeting a decent man worthy of you and your DC (and you'll meet more of them).

I have three DCs, (partly) because of them, I am extremely picky, don't waste time faffing around with men who i don't really like and only contemplate 'relations' with people that I see as having amazing potential. I don't see it as something wrong with me at all. If someone doesn't want to date me because I have three children, that is absolutely something wrong with them. because I'm bloody brilliant!

The woman in question is internet dating and has been talking to my aunt about a really nice guy she has been on a couple of dates with. She seems to think single mums should stay that way, single, cos if the father of their children doesnt want them then why would anybody else!

Well she's got one fuckwitted idea she needs to lose, which is that it's only up to men to choose whether a relationship continues. Women dump men or throw them out for being violent, lazy, mean, alcoholics or any other number of reasons. But a lot of people think it's a woman's role to wait passively for a man to decide whether or not to own them.

I think the problem here is with your Aunt's perception, not the single mum.
Maybe the father(s) of her children were so bloody awful she is better off without them. Perhaps she has a more finely defined twat radar now and is being more choosy.

What a nasty thing to say.

So if you have been unlucky enough to be mistreated in your realtionship or your OH is a git and has an affair

Or that as 2 mature adults you decided to end a relationship that wasn't working you as a women never deserve to have another relationship............

Idiot!!! (the aunt that is)

sounds to me like sour grapes from auntie... cuz someone else is getting out and having a bit of run!

Does your Auntie think women can be only be nice if they have managed to catch a man? Is that what makes us valid? Does she read Gone with the Wind a lot?