No what i should do but scared

[gonnabegoingsoon]

Me and dh been together since our teenage years, now in our 30's with 6 dc. Suffered the loss of multiple pregnancies and dh been unemployed for awhile. I've been subject to financal,sexual,emotional and aggressive abuse over many years from him but not recently, children have sufferd physically but he claims was an accident. Been in refuges in the past but then back to him stupidly. SS are now involved and want me to leave him. Am scared as suffer anxiety and have noone else to turn to.

If that happened I might start believing that there is god, Pussycat.

Unfortunately, there's not enough buses the world to rid of it violent, abusive, twunts unless by happy chance we were able to get the violent ones lined up so that one bus could do the work of many.

Once you leave him your anxiety is highly likely to improve - he is the root cause of it. I know he's being nice right now but it really won't last. And when he gets abusive again it sounds as though you may be at risk of losing your children. If you want to stay in your current home you could speak to a solicitor about getting an occupation order - this will keep him out for a period even if he owns it or is on the tenancy. Also Google your county + domestic abuse to see if there is a local service that can offer you support and advice.

Go on the Freedom Programme if you can, it's fabulous. It talks about the abusive man as 'the dominator' and breaks down his different tactics into categories such as 'the jailer', 'the sexual controller', 'the bully', 'the bad father', 'the headworker'. It also looks at effects on children. It aims to empower you by educating you about abuse and to release you from your guilt by showing that the abuse is solely down to his choices. You look at his tactics, his beliefs and where they come from, the effect on us. It also looks at 'Mr Right' each week such as 'the friend' to show what a non abusive man is like. You also get to be with other women who have been or are in the same situation as you and so realise you're not alone.

My point was not to wish hime dead Izzy, but hopefully to see that OP would in that event, have to cope with her life, her children and her potential ill health, and would still have the support she has been offered. And if she could cope with that, she can cope alone even if the bus had missed

Thank you for all post, been a difficult time and today made the desition that i will leave in the next few weeks.
Firstly am going to see my gp and get as much help as possible ie: anxiety plus i have some other health issues that are managed through medication then am going to seek more help from ss. I have put up with this far to long.

Good on you.

The last days and the first times will be tough. But staying will be more difficult in the long run.
Do your best to cut all contact with your OH.

You and the children deserve to be happy and free from fear.

Good luck Gonnabegoin.

You have no idea how free you will feel when you've made this move.

It's terrifying to take that step, but once you've taken it and been through the freedom programme, you'll wonder why it took you so long.

Come back for support if and when you need it.

Well done you! It will feel very difficult at first. Going to GP for help with anxiety is a great first step. I think you should also write down all the reasons why leaving will be better for you and your children, and read it everyday. Also write down all the things you've wanted to do before, that you will be able to do when he's gone.

Once you become a free woman you'll never look back and you'll learn to how to get the respect you deserve in relationships.

Plus your children will be happier and safe and never have to live within the care system. (although I'm not saying you shouldn't accept short term fostering if that becomes an option and you need help)

Post back here for support. Also join the lone parents thread, there's a whole load of us battling on there!

Very best of luck and best wishes for you and your family in the future.