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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can't decide whether to stay or not

1 reply

familyofboys · 09/02/2012 13:40

Am really confused right now and need some advice from people who aren't going to tell me what they think I need to hear!

I have been with dp for almost 10 years and have 3 dc's 8, 5 and 18 months. I haven't been happy for a long time. Nothing major on his part. I have things that I would like to change regards housework, looking after kids, money etc. Stuff that most couples have issues with. But to be honest even if he were to magically start doing all that I'd like I don't think it would change the way i feel. I just don't feel the way I think I should.
I've gone back and forth with this in my head for months, spending a lot of time imagining life without him here (i know, grass is greener, etc etc) worrying about how it would affect the kids, about money. I seemed to have gotten stuck in 'making no decision is a decision in itself' territory.
Well I found out I was pregnant a few days ago and I immediately realised that I had to make a decision one way or the other. I thought I had decided to end it. But I keep wondering if its right. Don't know if I'm worrying about him, feeling sorry about it, guilty for being the one to end it. In truth I'm more worried about having the conversation that I am about being a single parent.

Just looking for some advice, a different prespective. Anyone looking at us wouldn't think there was anything wrong, but I just don't feel for him the way I used to.

OP posts:
wantmydaughterback · 09/02/2012 17:41

With four children it is going to be hard on you. Before you do anything, I would suggest you talk to your partner, and then see how he feels about relationship counselling. You don't have to tell him you are thinking of leaving him just yet, but see if he also realises there is a problem and would like to help fix it. If he hasn't done anything truly awful, then it may be worth trying to solve a few problems first. It that doesn't work, then at least you know you tried - for your sake and your children.

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