I have no libido. What.so.ever. 2 kids (11 & 5), married 17 yrs, together 20 yrs. Over xmas I found my husband watching internet porn. Felt sad and disappointed. At 2nd visit to Relate he said he's been using internet porn x 2 yrs, 2 or 3 times a week. Because I'm not giving him any. (sex). It's difficult to instigate something (sex) you have no urge to do, and after he's been rejected by me too often over the years I'm relieved in some way it's only porn. Mostly just sad, because even though we had sex last weekend (first time in around 10 weeks) it didn't fix anything (in my head) and I think he really enjoyed it - because he's been starved for so long. Will persevere with Relate because I really want to turn this around. Has anyone else had this problem? Do I love him still? He's the only one for me, but honestly, the fire's gone out with the child rearing, and lack of practical family support - we live 4 hrs away from nearest family.
We've been under enormous stress last 2 yrs - business struggling and went under before xmas. And I'm 46 and I've got classic menopausal (peri, whatever) symptoms, so probably hormonal issues as well. Any comments welcome.