I think the time has come to ask random strangers for an outside view.
Background, married nearly 5 years, I have children, he didn't. I thought we had done it all correctly ie getting to know him etc etc before involving the children. Been together 10 years now altogether.
About 2 years ago I started losing him. He became withdrawn. I tried to find out what was wrong but he didn't want to tell me. Still won't really talk to me.
We are now at the point where he can't even be in the same room as us. He drinks every night and sits in another room on his laptop/phone/anything. I can't get a word out of him without saying one first. He is indifferent and cold to how I might feel. He has told me I have nothing interesting to say regarding my work and withholds his help.
I have 2 jobs. We are in financial difficulty and on a debt management plan. I had no idea he couldn't manage his credit cards and have realised he is foolish with finances. He doesn't seem to see any future, only lives for the here and now. We remortgaged to pay off one debt but he ran up another without telling me. I guess I am just as much to blame for not taking control of it sooner.
He has something very precious to him that he could sell which would get rid of our debt but refuses to. I have actually accepted this. No point flogging a dead horse and we are managing....just.
He tells me he is bored, he wants more money to spend, he feels trapped, I don't pay him enough attention (if he would help me do some of the things he could actually help me with then I would have more time - maybe I'd spend it with him but right now, probably not) now I am reading this back he sounds like a fuckwit that I'd be better off without.
I haven't fallen out of love with him yet but I cannot carry on like this. No conversation, no sex, no touching, no affection.
I have tried so hard so many times to get him to talk to me but he doesn't want to. I am quite sure he isn't seeing anybody else.
I have wondered if he is depressed. He has always been a bit melancholy but the last 2 years have been dreadful. Every time I say anything, he just basically agrees with me but then does nothing.
Could he be depressed? Or is he just staying because it's easier than doing anything else? All he has to do is go to work, I take care of everything else.
I don't know anymore. I think my life would be better without him but if he is depressed I would like to help him and get our old life back. I don't think I have done anything to make him treat me the way he does. I hate it and becoming angry now which isn't helping.
Yes I know it's long. Thanks if you got to the end. I might not be back til later but thought would be appreciated.