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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

sex and pregnancy

3 replies

dappply · 06/02/2012 17:20

have namechanged as i don't want myself or DH to be recognised, am embaressed.

Been with DH 6 years, 3 year old DD and am 6 months pregnant. When I was pregnant with DD we carried on having sex until her birth, and he didn't seem to find me less attractive.

Admittedly this time round I'm a stone heavier, but I don't actually feel hugely different physically. However he hasn't iniated sex in months, which I've been trying not to worry about as he does have a history of being lazy like that. But then the last couple of times he's been unreluctant and I've felt like it was all me. Last weekend when we had sex he didn't come, said that he was "too asleep" to come. And then this morning he lost his erection twice while we were having sex :-(

I was upset as this hasn't happened before ever. I want to talk about it, to find out what's wrong, whether there's anything bothering him, something he's stressed about or that he doesn't find me attractive. and i feel paranoid now too. But he says he's fine. It's no big issue for him, and that in asking him about it I'm either "being insensitive, or pushing him to be insensitive"

He is busy at work, has recently had a promotion and is also worried about money. so maybe it's nothing to do with my pregnancy But according to him, he's fine and not stressed or worried.

what to do?

OP posts:
bogbean · 07/02/2012 17:32

My hunch is that this is all to do with his stress levels, and nothing to do with you personally.

When my fiancee has gone through phases of having no interest in sex/been difficult to arouse, I initially always jumped the gun and assumed it was because he wasn't feeling attracted to me - but on reflection it is all to do with how stressed he was at the time. Sounds like your husband has a lot of pressure on him at the moment. Maybe he just needs some really good cuddles in bed...

Just support in the best way you can, and maybe see if he wants to talk about some of the stuff that's happening at the moment.

Hope it picks up again soon

bogbean · 07/02/2012 17:33

My hunch is that this is all to do with his stress levels, and nothing to do with you personally.

When my fiancee has gone through phases of having no interest in sex/been difficult to arouse, I initially always jumped the gun and assumed it was because he wasn't feeling attracted to me - but on reflection it is all to do with how stressed he was at the time. Sounds like your husband has a lot of pressure on him at the moment. Maybe he just needs some really good cuddles in bed...

Just support in the best way you can, and maybe see if he wants to talk about some of the stuff that's happening at the moment.

Hope it picks up again soon

bogbean · 07/02/2012 17:33

oops... posted twice!

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