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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Feel so sad and lost

7 replies

QuestionTime · 05/02/2012 23:27

Dont know why I'm posting this really - there's nothing anyone can do, just feel so lonely. I'm 26 and my mum who was my best friend in the whole world died on Thursday. She was diagnosed with brain cancer only 6 short months ago.
I'm organising the funeral and trying to be brave for my family but it is so hard. My dad is blind, so has not only lost his wife but also his support.
My husband is trying to be supportive. He is wonderful with the practicalities but a bit crap with emotions. My dad is staying in a hotel at the moment and I feel so guilty that he is there on his own. My husband doesn't really like him and whenever he comes round (about once every three days) gets all moody. Like tonight dad was here for dinner and a film. Once he had left DH talked about how it had been a rubbish Sunday and could I be bothered to watch something with him later. Just little digs if that makes sense.
Just feel like I can't cope with everything :-(

OP posts:

Lueji · 05/02/2012 23:33

Hugs.

So sorry for your loss and for your dad.

Surely your OH could make a bigger effort, at least for now?

Have you talked to him about it?

TheFarSide · 05/02/2012 23:35

Very sorry to hear about your mum QT and the fact that you don't seem to be getting much support. It's very early days and quite normal to feel like you can't cope. Posting on the bereavement threads has been a lifesaver for lots of us, if you want to join us there.

ElusiveCamel · 05/02/2012 23:39

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mum :( Sounds like a very difficult situation with the worry for your dad too. If you're not in contact with them already, maybe speak to someone at MacMillan tomorrow?

sayithowitis · 05/02/2012 23:40

Sorry for your loss . Your husband is being very selfish IMO. Losing a parent is hard. And especially so when you have been blessed with a good relationship as you were. Actually, I don't think your husband is being selfish. He is being nasty. He should be supporting you and looking after you. And, regardless of what he thinks of your dad, it is clear that you love your dad and want to support him, so your husband should be supporting you in that.

He sounds like two year old who is having a tantrum because he is not getting enough attention.

mrscumberbatch · 05/02/2012 23:41

Well done for coping so well thus far. I would have a dig at your OH and ask him how he would feel if he were in the same situation.
He's not truly being supportive if he doesn't understand how your father might need you at the moment.

Original poster

QuestionTime · 06/02/2012 11:56

Thanks everyone

OP posts:

ISayHolmes · 06/02/2012 13:49

Your husband is being very juvenile. I'd sit him down and talk to him about his behaviour and that he can't get into a strop because your dad shows up and that you've noticed his digs. He needs to hear that days after your mother's passing is NOT the time to be putting his moods first. The "it had been a rubbish Sunday" comment is completely inappropriate in light of what has just happened. I'm very sorry for your loss.

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