How to support a friend getting a divorce?

[MoggieThatcher]

A friend of mine is getting divorced, and I'm wondering how best to support her. I'm friendly with her husband as well.

We aren't very close, so I'm not sure what I should or shouldn't ask/say about all this. (She did tell me that there isn't someone else involved.) I live too far to visit, so I can't take her out to do something distracting.

I've never had a friend get divorced before, and I don't want to unintentionally say something rude.

Take the lead from her/them. If you're going to stay friends with both then don't be surprised if they don't want to confide in you too much. Just be a good friend. Taking time, phoning them, sending friendly texts. If you're not close anyway probably just go on as usual.

I have found my separation and impending divorce to be very emotional - much more than I ever expected. My ex did have and is having an affair so the lies and that betrayal are horrific. What has also been very unpleasant is how his family and very few friends have been towards me. I didn't even receive Christmas cards. I have a DS - you would think they could remain on decent terms with their only grandchild's mother but no. So let your friend talk (and talk etc) - those emotions do need to come out.

Something I've started doing with friends in crisis is to ask them what support they'd find helpful. For one friend it was doing a bag of ironing, for another it was taking her kids out for the day with mine, for another it was being a listening ear. If you're unable to visit her, then the first two might be out of the question, but I'd still ask the question.

Thanks. I've floated the message out that if she needs to talk, I'm there...