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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help save my marriage

33 replies

shorty80 · 23/01/2006 00:26

ok heres the scoop, hubby said that he dont wanna be married anymore, so he has us leave, i told him that he needs counseling n he says nope itll make me more mad, so we have a 3 yr old n a 17 month old and wed is our 5 yr anniversary, n im in another state n his family is brainwashing him so he wont let me n the kids back what do i do??? i need my family back together

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Original poster
shorty80 · 23/01/2006 03:46

so u think space is all he needs???? i hope it wont take too long, i dont wanna get a job then have to move back to Oregon n start all over, i pray that we get back together

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Original poster
shorty80 · 23/01/2006 03:47

why is he saying all these hurtful things to me if thats all he needs is space, i hope it dont lead to divorce, that will crush me and the kids and i hope it dont take too long

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Alipiggie · 23/01/2006 03:49

Reading the emails. Looks like it'll really help him. Guess he's got a lot to work through in his life too and perhaps you've both had too much else on to help him with that and guess the war's not helped one little bit. My bet is that you're not the only ex-army wife that's going through this at the moment. How about volunteer work then to keep you busy and stop from thinking. I"m going to try and do that, then it won't be wrench to leave it. And distance learning means you can carry on wherever you are. Tell him you'll keep him updated with the kids cheery little emails and photos etc on a daily/weekly basis and keep it cheery at all times. Tell him you're there for him to talk to and keep your own emotions in check - hard I know trying to do it here to at the moment. Be brave and remember you can always email me now

Alipiggie · 23/01/2006 03:56

Remember, (posts crossed sorry) we always hurt the ones we love. My DH has said some really horrible things to me. He had an affair with a 50 yr old colleague, who he says he loves and she's more attractive than me. But hey why should I give up on my great life here, love it in the US. Think like me you just have to walk away from the hurt for a while otherwise you'll never heal yourself and therefore can't help your marriage. Does that make sense?

Original poster
shorty80 · 23/01/2006 04:03

yes and i hope eventually soon hell come to his senses and come back around

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Alipiggie · 23/01/2006 04:08

Listen, signing off for tonite. Going to have large glass of wine. Take care, keep cheerful and let's email tomorrow.

Byee for now

Original poster
shorty80 · 23/01/2006 04:14

do u think since he e mailed my m om n said that he doesnt wanna be married anymore if that was just outta anger or what cause hes never pulled that stunt before

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Original poster
shorty80 · 23/01/2006 05:04

do u think since he e mailed my m om n said that he doesnt wanna be married anymore if that was just outta anger or what cause hes never pulled that stunt before

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