This guy is a tosser, right?

[LovelyLizzie]

Another of my rants ladies and gentleman, sorry.
After saying I wasn't dating anymore, I agreed to go out with a guy I met online ages ago.
He's lovely and very attentive for the first week. No sex. Very charming and romantic.
Date before last he turns up and randomly asks if I like anal sex. I tell him not really, it hurts. He has an absolute hissey fit and says "its a present for your partner". Gets really angry then backtracks and goes all romantic again and tells me I'm smart, classy, pretty etc.
Saw him today and asked him back (I know, I know). He says no because he was at a swingers party last night. OK I'm the most naieve person on mumsnet but that's an orgy, right? Says he's been to many.
Sent me a lovely romantic text today but thing is, he really only ever texts. have spoken to him only three times on the phone over several weeks.
Even as I am typing this I realise that I have once again been an arse. He's a sex addict, isn't he?

He's a creep. Flee while you can. I got goose pimples reading your post. Shudder.

He just has different sexual tastes to you and Id not be with someone who went to sex parties either.

He has expectations that I wouldn't want to be negotiating my way out of - swinging and bumsex, it's rather early in the dating for all that

I can't quite believe I posted that....Seeing in written down makes it a bit stark. God I'm naieve.

He wasn't being romantic, he was trying to get laid. He sounds horrible, sorry.

Silly question but why did you go back for another date after

He's lovely and very attentive for the first week. No sex. Very charming and romantic.
Date before last he turns up and randomly asks if I like anal sex. I tell him not really, it hurts. He has an absolute hissey fit and says "its a present for your partner". Gets really angry then backtracks

Was that not enough of a sign that he was a dick?

If he is single he can go to all the swingers parties he wants to.

Swingers parties don't tend to encourage single men, otherwise the numbers of men would far outweigh women. So if he did go to a swingers party then he went with another woman.

That's probably a minor point anyway as he sounds like a dick.

He's honest, can't take that away from him. A bit too honest

Thanks all.
The swingers parties and the bumsex aren't really the issue, I accept that people have different tastes. It's more how angry he got when I said it wan't my thing. And who tools up on a date and says they can't have sex cos they're worn out from an orgy?
Yes, I know I'm an idiot.

Yes he's a tosser.

And a porn user.

In my experience and if you'll pardon the pun, those two go hand-in-hand.

Am amazed that you had any contact with him at all after the hissy fit. Why was that?

I wouldn't date anyone at all until you've found out.

Right!

Draw a line under this creep and move on to someone who doesn't get angry when you express a valid and personal opinion.

Yes, he admits to being a heavy porn user.
I know I have issues. I've said in previous posts I was quitting dating till I worked on myself.
There's obviously something about me that attracts these twats.

Attracting them is one thing...but why did you give him another chance to demonstrate how sleazy, entitled and generally vile he is after he had the nerve to be angry with you for not liking anal sex?
His just mentioning it at that stage would have been inappropriate enough.

Ok this is going to make me sound like a silly girl. But he got away with it because he is physically very beautiful. Johnny Depp wouldn't have a look in. God knows how many sad middle aged women he has on the go.

God I really do sound like an arse. Pull yourself together woman (slaps self in face with salmon fillet)

Yes, total and utter tosser. Not for his sexual tastes (well, a little bit) but for his stinking scumbag arsehole cunty wanker attitude. Ditch and ruuuuuuuuun

Sex addict? I don't know, but it does sound like you are into different things and that being the case, let him go (and liking someone beautiful doesn't make you silly!)

Too different in sexual tastes for you to ever have anything like a relationship.

Forget him, move on, NEXT!

Well you haven't been an arse - there is a pun there.

Lucky escape.

Yuk.

Don't think it was the sexual tastes that were a red flag, more the fury that he couldn't talk me into it

"who tools up on a date and says they can't have sex cos they're worn out from an orgy?"

ROFL!!

Thing about presents is they are given willingly. A present given thanks to coercion is, er...extortion?

NEXT!!!!