How much is falling in love circumstantial? How much can you decide whether or not to fall for someone?
I know I've fallen for people I knew I shouldn't have before, once with someone who wasn't mine to have (he cheated on his girlfriend with me 
), other times with men I knew were using me or were no good for me.
At the time I got a lot of advice to 'forget about him' 'move on' but it felt as though I had no choice and fell in love with them despite my head telling me not to.
Conversely, a friend of mine had an arranged marriage, had met her groom only 3 times, physically not at all her usual type, yet a year later was head over heels in love with him. She said she had committed to spending her life with him so decided to love him and be happy rather than spending a lifetime in a empty marriage. I understand her logic, but I am not sure how making yourself love someone would work-how do you do it? It seems to have worked for her though, she's still happy nearly 10 years later.
I'm just interested in other peoples views on what love is really, I'm single but still in love with a total bastard. I'd love to know how to stop loving him, and if I could make it happen rather than just waiting it out. I know he used me, I know he doesn't care about me but something is stopping me from being able to stop caring in return.
I have namechanged as I am a bit embarrassed by this post!