Do I do it or not? WWYD?

[BiByeCuriosity]

Namechanger. Can't be bothered to list the usual MN history to prove I'm genuine.

Married to DH, been together 10 years. I've always been bi-curious, DH has always known this and likes and encourages this side of me when we discuss fantasies . Had a few snogs with female friends on drunken nights out but nothing more. DH and I have often discussed having a threesome with another female, he loves the idea and so do I but we haven't done anything about it, purely because we wouldn't know where to start with how to go about finding another woman that would want to join us.

Anyway just recently, coincidentally I've been introduced to a lady who is openly bi-sexual, also married and we have been chatting on the phone and mailing each other frequently. From a number of things she's said I gather that she and her DH are either in an open relationship or are swingers. She's made it very clear she's interested in me and wants to meet up one night. Her DH knows about this and according to her would be fine with it. My DH says go for it.

I'm very very tempted. I'm so curious and have been for so long and now I'm thinking this could be my only chance to do something like this and it is something I want to experience so much! If only to say I tried it, satisfied my curiosity, and take it from there. But I also have some misgivings. Although DH has said go for it, what if he then gets jealous (he insists he won't and it's 'different' because it's a woman)? What if I like it so much I want to do it again? We've discussed it to death and he insists he's fine with it, our relationship is strong, but hmm.....

Anyone done anything like this? Did it affect your relationship, if so, how? If you were me what would you do?

I wouldn't know what to do

Unfaithful is unfaithful, whichever gender you choose as the 'other'.
Do you and the other couple have children?
Do you see your marriage surviving when your husband wants to look elsewhere too?

I also think your husband will start looking elsewhere too and condone it because of what you did.
The fact he hasn't strayed so far is a miracle as it seems that 99% of men, if MN is anything to go by, can't remain faithful in this day of Interfishnets.

What about agreeing the ground rules beforehand. In writing if necessary. He is not allowed to ask you about it. Neither of you will speak of it again. In his eyes it is not cheating and he will never accuse you of this. He won't sleep with anyone else just because you have done this. You won't do it again unless he gives you permission again, etc.

What was that film where they did this, but with another man? Indecent Proposal? In the end, their relationship didn't stand the strain.

Ah but she was paid.... That's different! She got a million quid and a designer dress!

And saw herself as a prostitute for the rest of her life!

Faire, nice in theory but whilst he may agree to that now, who is to say that he wont think "Well she slept with X....." if he has the opportunity of a one nighter?

Vows said in a church dont mean anything to some people when they choose to cheat do they? Why would getting something in writing about this situation be different?

Do it if you wish but be prepared for a fall out.

If he's the kind to think "Well she did, so I can too" he's going to be unfaithful anyway, just use a different excuse. At least she's discussing it upfront, why would that give him the "right" to sneak around behind her back?

Thanks again everyone for your thoughts on this. This thread and your questions and comments prompted a long discussion last night.

Fairenuff your idea of ground rules is one we discussed and we have come up with a number of them that we are both happy with.

DH has reiterated that he doesn't and won't view this as me being unfaithful.

I know a lot of you think DH will see this as 'permission' to start looking around or cheat on me in the future. I don't subscribe to the view that if my DH is unfaithful it is somehow my fault. I kind of think along the same lines as OldLady, if he has it in him to be deceitful and unfaithful he will find a reason, any reason, to do it if he really wants to. That is something I can't have any control over. Although I do appreciate that once you do something like this you take your relationship to a place that it's going to be difficult to come back from if it doesn't go the way you planned or expected. I have to now consider whether this need to 'get it out of my system' is worth that risk.

Anyway I'll carry on mulling it over for now. I really do appreciate all of your comments, thank you.