Divorce problem.

[BiWinning]

X-Posted in Chat.

I was married in April 2009. We split in November 2009. We have been living apart with new partners ever since and I signed the divorce papers a month ago.

The day before our wedding H's parents gave us £200 as a wedding present. We used that money along with £150 from H's bank account to buy a camera for the wedding. Once we split he left a guitar and the camera with me and since then I've had promises of a divorce if he'd only get the camera and guitar back. This has gone on for two years. I sold the camera to pay off debts when I was in big financial trouble but kept his beloved guitar. I hold him he could put what he wanted in the divorce. He finally filed for the divorce at the end of 2011 because his new fiancee was pregnant. I signed the papers and sent them back.

H has told me he's got the decree nisi but is refusing to send them in as I haven't given him his camera and guitar. I told him he could have the guitar but the camera is gone. He wants the full £450 back or he won't put the papers in. I live on Income Support and DLA due to mental health issues and mobility problems. I don't have that kind of money and if I did it would be put to better use. I told him it's not too late to put agreements in to the papers but he said he couldn't afford the extra cost at the time, his solicitor says it's too late now and he can't afford to go to a small claims court.

What can I do? I can't give him the money, I don't have a solicitor and he's blackmailing me with the decree nisi. Is there anything I can do? Is he right?

I cross-posted with you.

You don't need a solicitor, honey You can stop the twat in his tracks file for divorce citing his adultery, or his unreasonable behaviour if you prefer, online later today or tomorrow.

I can foresee far too many problems if you allow him to divorce you.

Getting the Nisi is only a part of it.

If he doesn't apply for the Absolute within 4 and half months of the date the Nisi was pronounced, you can apply yourself - but it'll cost you £80 and you'll have to appear in person in the Court that's pronounced the Nisi.

You are potentially looking at another six months or more of the bellend having you by the short and curlies.

If you've already filed for divorce and he didn't acknowledge service, or if you file again and he doesn't acknowledge service, - which, incidentally, is a not uncommon response from controlling abusive twats reluctant Respondents, you can apply for him to be 'deemed to have been served' and he'll find that he's powerless you're shot of him despite his best efforts to keep you wriggling on his hook.

If you want to go for a diy divorce, it'll be my pleasure to help you through the process - we can work through it here on your thread by way of a tutorial for others who have also suffered the misfortune of having married howling bellends.

Alternatively, I suggest you make it ultimatum time - no divorce = no guitar and I strongly advise you to hang on to the instrument as, other than filing again for divorce yourself, it seems to be the only weapon bargaining tool you have to gain your freedom to remarry - which is obviously what he's going out of his way to prevent.

Send him a message saying 'snow's stopped you tooling around with my life play'

How much would it be to divorce online?

You mentioned that you previously filed for divorce?

When did you file, what grounds did you cite (unreasonable behaviour or adultery?), have you retained copies of whatever documents you sent to the Court (Petition, marriage certificate, Affidavit in support etc) and do you know what the outcome was as far as the Court was/is concerned - i.e was your Petition and your marriage certificate returned to you with a covering letter?

I'm logging off now but I will back later. In the meantime, I suggest you hang on to that guitar - if it's icy/snowing in your city/county you have the perfect excuse for not sending/delivering it.

"I wouldn't put it past him to name the party with whom you committed the alleged breach of your marriage vows as co-respondent"

This is irrelevant. You can not force any co-respondet to be named.

Or rather not without considerable cost and hassle.

Update: I sent him his drum book and guitar yesterday. I asked him to acknowledge that he posessed them but no response. I emailed again to see if he was filing the papers today and no response again. My sister called to tell me he'd put a photo of the guitar on Facebook and there were comments calling me a dirty lying skank from him plus how he shouldn't sign the papers and hold out until I come around from his fiancee. A friend of theirs said ?You know what I'll do to that stinking cunt when you're divorced?.

So, I got myself a solicitor. My appointment is next Tuesday. If he doesn't hand in the papers by then I'm going to take over the divorce.

The issue is my ex husband's fiancee is my DP's ex girlfriend. They have a child together who stays here every weekend. He's 3 next week. So far she hasn't been terrible about access arrangements but it's not through the court. I have a feeling that if I take him to court she might be funny and use DP's son as a weapon. Should I tell him to get a solicitor in case? I feel so bad about the whole thing. It doesn't involve anyone but me and H but it seems to involve H'sF a lot

Anyone?

Your Ex husbands wife to be is your DPs Ex girlfriend and baby mumma

Yes.

DP and I had a one night stand in 2007. I was prepared to be a single mum and he was touring the UK with his band. Him and his girlfriend got together in 2008 and had an unexpected pregnancy. In April 2009 I married my H but he was abusive and DP left his girlfriend. I found him by accident and DP wanted to be a part of DC1's life so we tried that. H was abusive so after kicking him out DP and I started seeing each other. H found DP's ex girlfriend and slept with her out of spite for DP but they ended up together as did we. A real life wife swap.

H isn't the father of DC1, DP is. DP is also the father of his exGF's son. H lives with his F, 'DSS' and their son together. DP lives with me and our two daughters.

One night stands and unexpected pregnancy's this ex ith that ex, boy sounds like Eastenders

You can apply for the decree absolute your self, he does not need to sign it

It's not about the Decree Absolute. He has signed the D80a forms but not had them signed by the court or sent off to even get the Nisi in. He's withholding sending them off until I 'meet his demands'.