gobsmacked

[CharliesMummyMeg]

i have just been told by my dp that he doesnt see a future for us anymore. dont no what to say. we have a 9 mo son, dp walked out twice already leaving me in bits, 1st time when ds was 4weeks, second time when he was 10 weeks. he says im not the person i used to be, he says i always nag him, and that we argue alot. he works but on his days off he gets up at about 3pm and goes straight on xbox he doesnt help with ds at all. i love him so much hence why i let him come back and put up with his xboxing/not helping.

i gave this guy a baby that means alot to me he said he was never going to leave us ever 'no matter how hard it got' he let me rant on about moving to a new house with a new car and have another baby in about 6 years, for vhrists sake we had sex 2 hours ago, of course ive changed im a mummy now, im a fucking good mummy too. what do i do now?

it is not my fault.

I now have the song 'Feeling Good' in my head.
"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me and I'm feeling good."

I hope that you do get proactive about your own happiness. You're young and gorgeous and can do anything if you choose to.

Have a lovely weekend with ds. xx

But isn't it lonely when he lies in bed till 3 pm? And then is only interested in the Xbox?

Isn't it lonely when he has sex and then tells you he doesn't see a future with you (how low is that!).

Isn't it lonely when he says you are not part of his family?!

You sound like an incredibly strong woman and you will make a much better life for your son and you when you get this user out of your life. For good.

You'll be better off without this tosspot. Unfortunately arsehole men often only really show what arseholes they are after the baby arrives, but you can get rid of him and manage perfectly well without him. He will have to contribute financially anyway. Have a word with CAB or Women's Aid about the practical stuff like housing and benefits, and the next time he threatens to leave, tell him to go and pack.

Charlies

The test for your Dp will come in a few years. You are young and have grown up and left him behind. This is why you find the X Box so fecking annoying.

He knows this and wants to kick up his heels and have his freedom while you wait and pine for him.

What he is not expecting that one day another man will appear and love you and your DC. This is when he will kick off, he does not own you but thinks he has a 'prior right' to you.................conserve your strength for that fight.

Keep cool, talk slow and don't say too much. Keep you and your DC safe and get some savings behind you if you need to get a bolthole.

Captain your own ship from now.

'but what happens when ds is in bed and i sit down and the lonleyness (carnt spell how bads that) sets in?'

The loneliness (can't spell either I don't think!) might not set in!!

My DH moved out about 4 months ago and I have not felt lonely at all since. Lots of lonely evenings with him home attached to his computer - I feel there is nothing more lonely than feeling alone when you are actually with someone (if that makes sense!)

Just imagine.........baby in bed, feet up on sofa, no treading on eggshells, no clearing up after an extra child, no extra meals to make, mumsnet, tv, books, time to study, whatever you want. With family near by you might have babysitters - go out with friends or alone, enjoy life!!

Have a look at www.entitledto.co.uk to get an idea of what benefits you will get. That will boost your confidence. He should give you up to 15% of his take-home pay in maintence depending on care of your DS.

Don't let hiim continue to mess with your emotions.

but what happens when ds is in bed and i sit down and the lonleyness (carnt spell how bads that) sets in?
You are alone now...

In fact, you may end up meeting the man of your life.

In the meantime you are wasting your time with this man.

The fact he is a grown man whose primary leisure activity is playing on fucking kids computer consoles speaks volumes.

He has left thinking you will start pleading for your return. Don't. You can't spend your life wondering when he's going to flounce off again or your son asking where Daddy is?

Get rid

What kind of a twattish twat has sex and then decides there is no future ? OP get rid of the arsehole, you clearly did a mistake having a baby with that ass. Kick his ass out and dont sleep with him anymore.

CharliesMummyMeg, is loneliness worse than the feeling you had when he said what he said two hours after you had sex?

Look up what you need to do to become a midwife, lean on your family for support, and focus on your own self, what you can do to make your career dreams come true, and being a great mum. You can have the house, the dog, the baby all smiles and love. You can get it all for yourself. Three out of four ain't bad.

Keep posting here as things progress with Xboxboy.

(So pathetic he won't let you be in his gang but he will let the baby.. What is that thing about the 'family' -- 'no girlz allowed'? Twat)

Get him out of your life.

You are a "mother" - a strong woman, not a "mummy". Don't belittle yourself.