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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting fed up with this comment.

3 replies

petunia · 22/01/2006 08:42

I have 2 DDs who I love to bits. Last June I had a miscarriage but I'm now expecting again, baby due end of April. What I'm really getting fed up with is this comment that I've had from 3 people so far (my Grandma last July, FIL at Christmas and my Mum yesterday). DDs can be a handful (as all children can) and yesterday we'd been to a restaurant when the children spotted a climbing frame outside as we were leaving. DD2 was crying and had been playing up because she was tired but as soon as they spied the climbing frame, both DDs wanted to go on it. So as they both dashed for it, my Mum came out with, "And you want another one?" (meaning you've got 2 children, they're obviously tiring, why do you want another?) said in a surprised tone of voice.
It's not like any of them that have said this actually ever look after DDs (I've asked my Mum and Dad to babysit several times and something always comes up, so I've given up asking now) It makes me feel like screaming, "Yes I do want another, I've always wanted 3 and it's not like you have to look after them anyway."
I don't know why this comment gets to me. Maybe it's just the rantings of a pregnant hormonal woman.

OP posts:
pepperrabbit · 22/01/2006 10:23

Hello Petunia
I think you just have to point out that it's your life you're living and it makes you happy, as you say, you're not asking them to look after the kids every week or anything. Perhaps they mean it in a lighthearted way? My DH often fails to realise quite how sensitive I am to random comments at the mo - I'm due in April too with No2.

Freckle · 22/01/2006 10:33

How many children do these people have? If it's only 2, then it's simply a question of jealousy. They don't want to see that you can cope with more than they could/can.

Your response to such a comment is "Aren't they just delightful, though? Why on earth wouldn't I want another one???". Said with beaming smile.

petunia · 22/01/2006 15:24

Freckle- yes, Grandma, Mum and FIL all had 2 children. But what gets me is that I used to be a Nanny, when I started my last job I looked after 4 children aged 2-12 yrs so it isn't like I don't know already what I'm in for!

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