How can I get past breastfeeding and feel sexy again?

[EllaRees]

I breastfed my baby for 13 months and during that time breasts were totally off limits during sex. Six months on I still just can't see them in that way or tolerate them being touched - argh! I never had big breasts but having got used to them being larger while feeding they now just seem pathetically small and unsexy, despite my partner's best efforts to reassure me. It used to be quite a big part of sex, but taking them out of the equation and adding a tender episiotomy scar are making for a rather limited sex life... I wish I could just get over it, but how?!

Sorry, I don't know the answer either, but I'm going to hang around here and hope you find out.

It takes time sweetie. My boobs recovered a bit but I never got my upper breast firmness back. You have nurtured a child, which should be the sexiest thing ever if it wasn't for the warped culture we live in.
Episiotomities take ages to get over too. Such a tender area.....
You need to give yourself time. Can you be sensual with your partner without feeling sexual and see how that goes?
Bio oil is great for firming up your floppy bits after a pregnancy but it takes a bit of time.
I think the worst thing about the west is that we don't have an "all girls together" culture of showing us each others hideous bits.
Wish I could help more.

Thank you! Hopefully someone will have some ideas

I have been there after DS1 and pleased to report that currently pregnant with DC3 and boobs are back on the menu! For me it was about remembering the person I was before I was a mum, is there any chance of a night away or a babysitter to allow you a night to yourself?

At the risk of enraging the feminists here I found some nice underwear and a few glasses of wine helped!

Also perhaps worth getting your scar checked. Mines was very uncomfortable and eventually I had surgery to repair it when DS1 was 11 months.

Thanks for making me feel like less of a weirdy and for helpful suggestions. I did have a bit of a scar repair and it's still improving, just slowly. I think you're right - the simple and classic ideas will prove the best...pass the bottle please!

I felt really peculiar about DH going near my breasts for quite a while after I BF - just the idea of him touching them felt really wrong and strange and so they were "off the menu" as it were but just recently suddenly I have stopped feeling like that. DD2 is 2.5 and I fed her for 13 months, so it was about a year after I stopped, but all is fine now. Maybe it is a normal thing to feel if you have been BF?

For me my boobs felt like they were my children's whilst and I think a good 3-4 months after feeding, then slowly I got used to them being for me/us again. The scar sounds like its taking a long time to feel right, mine was around 4 months before i felt like nookie again. Kegal exercises defiantly help with orgasams if you do them regularly enough

Do something different. Take some erotic photos of yourself. Ask him to moisturise your bum. His enthusiasm will be contagious.

Just do what feels nice. :)

Hi,

I also breastfed my first child for 13months. During that time and another baby I did not feel comfortable with them being touched in 'that' manner. It is however getting better as they are no longer in use and fingers crossed never will be again lol. It just takes time to re-adjust!

I think it is perfectly normal to feel that way!

I got some really nice underwear and kept that on during sex-my boobs looked really nice in them (and my boobs are teeny tiny) and OH liked it, too. He could stroke the tops of them and still 'cup' them. Episiotomy - you can get mild lidnocaine gel that you can apply just before sex that would numb the area slightly - might be worth a go. I have only really got back into it with the return of ovulation and periods!