stuck in a loveless marriage, advice please?

[mumnjohn]

ive been with my husband for 12 years, married for 11.

when i first met him he was lovely, never shouted, always nice. i was very happy especially when i found out i was pregnant.

then after a couple of years he changed. it started with him making snide remarks over everything i did and said. nothing was ever good enough for him.

i thought it would change, but i was wrong.

its all he does every day, but now its shouting, and yelling at me.

ive had enough now, but im too scared to leave.

in 2008 my mum died, within 1 week he told me to 'GET OVER IT' then in 2009 i lost my brother, again he said it :( then in 2010 i lost my dad. he did not say it that time.

he never tells me he loves me anymore, we have not had relations for 4 years.

he bought a house, in his name only. he is always telling me to leave, but i have to leave the children with him.

i want to leave him, and take the children, but he says the children stay with him, that breaks my heart, im only there for the children. they are my life i cannot leave them.

i cannot get a house with the council cause he owns the house, and i have no where to go to.

i have no friends.

and my family cannot not put us up.

im very lonely and sad :(

You need some sound solid advice. My heart goes out to you.

I have no real advice to offer but please look after yourself and he can not take the dc away from you
Xx

You say your mum, brother and father have died recently, what family do you still have?
They would not need to 'put you up' in order for you to leave, if that is what you want to do.
Find out where your nearest C.A.B. is and give them a call to book a chat.
There are a myriad of ways out of where you are, but you need to be strong and be determined to find them.
You CAN do it if it is what you really want.
Good luck.

OP my heart goes out to you, but you are not in an impossible situation, plenty of people have been in the same position and come through it ok.

Are you a SAHM? If you are then you will almost certainly end up as resident parent, and irrespective of that, you will be entitled to a large proportion of the assets. The fact that the house is in his name does not mean you are not entitled to it.

If you want advice from people who are going through, or who have been through similar, you could try this forum : www.singlewithkids.co.uk/forum/index.php

Divorce isn't a breeze but the sooner you start down the path, the sooner you will reach the end of it.

Go and speak to a solicitor, see if one will do a free initial consultation. As the other posters have said, if you are SAHM or have been working and contributing to the mortgage, even if its not in your name there is a very good chance you will have a claim on it.

This is abuse plain and simple. Start making a plan today to get out, you will make it.

As you're married you do have a claim on the house whether you're on the deeds or not. Don't listen to his lies about having to leave the children or having to move out if you split up with him.

Go to CAB or get an initial free consultation from a family law solicitor as LadyM suggests on the quiet and get yourself fully informed about your rights if you divorce. You have more options than he would have you believe.