Why didn't I listen

[TooMuchInLove]

Hey you might remember I posted on her a couple of months ago about my dp chatting to hookers online and all of you told me to leave him...I can't find the thread but it was called 'he's chatting to hookers online'.

I thought everything would be fine I confronted him and he fed me what I now know was total bollocks.
I have since posted on the step-parenting thread about some issues concerning dsd and all of a sudden problems have bittin me good and proper in the back side!!

I never went back to trusting dp and kept spying on his e-mail and his account on the AW website and to my disgust he has made a booking to see a prostitute this friday.
I feel sick and I'm shaking and now I need your help again.
I wish I had listened to you before, I am going through a really hard time, a dear friend has just passed away (the mother of my godchild) and I am due to start a new job in 2 weeks which Is causing stress.

I need help, how do I save enough money to leave bearing in mind I have no where to stay without finding somewhere to rent.

How do I go about finances?

Please forgive me for brushing you off before you were all right, he is a cheating scumbag and I was wrong to stay with him.

If anyone finds my old thread can you post it on her also as I don't know how
thankyou all

Sorry that i haven't posted. stbx found my threads and went mental! i didn't feel safe anymore so i have gone to stay with godsons dad. but i won't be here for long, i'm too worried that he will show up and try and get me to come back.

i feel so weak, i have no money and just feel totally deflated. not sleeping or eating . Dsd text me today asking where i am because dad won't tell her so i'm going yo speak to her mum tonight. just totally wrecked now. never thought i would have to be going through this :-(

he went mental? but he was the one who was going to see a prostitute, not you. when you say mental what do you mean? are you ok?

CAB might well be a start OP. Depending on your location a lot of the branches will sit down with you and work through your finances.

As the current accommodation is only temporary it's worth looking at house/flat share. It's cheaper and will give you company in the next few months. It'll also give you a bit of breathing space to get yourself back on your feet and build your credit score.

Oh dear - that sounds bad. Hope you are ok?

I don't know what to say just now, other than how sorry I am x

Women's Aid may be able to help with temporary accommodation.

Sorry to see this.

If you are working full time, surely you would be able to find a small flat, bedsit, or even a flats hare to rent?

Not sure how womans aid can help if there is no abuse, no violence, etc, involved.

Toomuchinlove, if he went mental, I am taking you at your word. You say you are scared of him. I would advise you to stay where you are. If he shows up and tries to get you back, what does he mean by this? To do what? Talk to you? Intimidate you?

No. That is too dangerous. If he comes round and causes a scene, call the police straight away. Dont go back there. If you do go back there, leave any children behind, have money on you, have a charged phone which you do not display.

Re housing, what is your position?

Also have you told him it is over? How did he take it? How were things when you left the house?

i realise it's all hard emotionally but housing wise it's fairly simple surely? you have no children and a full time job - get a local paper and find a room to let. how come you haven't got any money? do you not have your own bank account? if you get paid monthly then you must have just been paid.

see the bank about a short term overdraft - that would be enough to put a month in advance on a room to let. the money is all sortable - don't build up finances to be a big problem that justifies going back there.

OP - you need to get somewhere basic to keep you warm & safe while you sort yourself out.

Have a look for a room in a house to start off with. I have a lodger and many families let out their spare room under their rent-a-room scheme, which is tax free up to £350 a month so many rents are that or less depending on your area.

have a browse

You can post what you are looking for & specify female share only or whatever you like.

Please don't go back to your ex's place.