Struggling with my friends son

[lolaflores]

I am less and less inclined to want to have my daughter around my friends son. Today he hit her because she got ahead of him on her scooter. In fairness I roared at him and his mum took it on the chin. He then hit his mum and I shouted at him again. When she gives out to him, he takes fuck all notice.
just want to let off steam on the subject. I am not given to checking other peoples kids but I couldn't help myself and then when he hit his mum....
I do get the feeling that he has a deeper problem, but right now I don't paticularly care that much. forgive me if i sound horrible.

I don't agree that you have to find out why the behaviour is there before teaching new behaviour. I worked in a SN nursery where few of the kids had a diagnosis. A diagnosis gives a very narrow picture of an individual IME. As a mum/interested party I think one needs to:
Firstly prevent the behaviour by recognising the triggers.
Secondly ensure the behaviour does not get the response the child desires (eg shouting, excitement, attention).
Lastly rewarding (highly individual what this would be) appropriate behaviours displayed by the child.

If you and she together are unable to put strategies in place (for whatever reason) when your kids are together then I'd not meet up with the kids.

we do leave when he starts to get very angry/frustrated and I can usually tell in advance and we melt away.
I do not shout, this is the first time I have shouted. I generally remove my DD and leave it to the mum
So, we are left to meet child free. which is a plan

Yep to be honest things will probably be different a few months/years down the line. Enjoy some nights out instead maybe...

Drink, the great equalizer. 5 is hard for all of us never mind anything else on top. indeed in a few years ...